Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt (2003 TV Movie)
Adam West: Adam West
Photos
Quotes
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Valet parker : Hey, if you're looking for the Batmobile, it went that way.
Adam West : [noticing he's wearing an eye patch] You have a sharp eye, my friend.
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[Adam and Burt are at a diner. Burt reads a menu]
Burt Ward : Holy lunch specials! Look at this.
Adam West : It appears to be a menu, Burt. Not an unusual thing in a place like this.
Burt Ward : But look what's *on* the menu, or rather *who*. A "Burgess Burger... "
Adam West : What?
Burt Ward : "Gorshin Franks and Beans... " "Cesar Romero Salad... " "Vincent Fries... " They even have drinks. Look, a "Julie New-Martini."
[Burt hands Adam the menu and Adam reads it]
Adam West : "Art Chili Con Carney... " "Zsa Zsa Gabor... " "Liberace... " All these people disguised as daily specials!
Burt Ward : Almost every actor who played a villain our characters battled.
Adam West : Battled? Yes, and triumphed over. Any one of them could still be harboring a grudge.
Burt Ward : Adam, they're only actors.
Adam West : I'm sure they'd like us to think so, Burt. But there's more here than meets the eye.
[Adam and Burt look around suspiciously]
Adam West : Very odd.
Burt Ward : What's that?
Adam West : [checking his watch] It's time for an act break, but that voice is strangely absent.
Burt Ward : *He* must be on a break.
Adam West : Possibly. But now that he's not here, I miss him.
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Adam West : [after driving all night to the Arizona border in the search for the Batmobile] I think the clue is in our past, somewhere...
Burt Ward : What's this?
[removes flyer from under the car's windshield wiper]
Adam West : ...we still have to find it.
Burt Ward : [reads flyer] Hey Adam, look. The Highway to Arizona Bar is having a Happy Hour. Great place. Just down the street from the car museum.
Adam West : [grabs flyer and reads it with stunned disbelief] You... you... you *knew* about that place?
Burt Ward : [not getting it] Yeah. Why?
Adam West : [aggravated] Oh!
Burt Ward : [thinks about it and realizes they've driven all night for nothing] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Adam West : [reading an invitation left on his front door] Alfred! I need you!
[opens closet]
Adam West : Ah, what to wear?
[sees one suit]
Adam West : Eh, too flashy.
[sees another one]
Adam West : Too stuffy.
[sees another one]
Adam West : Too formal.
[comes across his old Batman costume]
Adam West : Too retro.
Jerry the Butler : [patiently after coming into the room] It's not Alfred, Mister West. It's Jerry. Alfred was the guy on the tv-show.
Adam West : There's a charity event at the car museum tonight. It seems I'm expected.
Jerry the Butler : [reads invitation] A little last minute, isn't it?
Adam West : Charity doesn't punch a clock, my friend.
Jerry the Butler : I guess you'll be needing your tuxedo.
Adam West : Nooo. I think something a little more in keeping with the times. Something a little less formal. Something... Clooneyish.
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[Adam and Burt are sitting in the Batmobile at the charity event]
Burt Ward : Wow. You know, it seems like almost yesterday.
Adam West : Almost thirty-five years Burt. Time tumbles by.
Burt Ward : You know I forget what some of these buttons do.
Adam West : I wouldn't touch those if I were...
[Burt presses a button and oil slick sprays out onto the crowd]
Burt Ward : Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Sorry, I didn't know it was loaded.
Adam West : That's why they usually left the driving to me.
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[after the Batmobile's been stolen and leaves fire-tire tracks]
Charity Event Host : The Batmobile's been stolen.
Adam West : [holding up his car key] Using my key.
Burt Ward : Holy tire tracks! Look, they go from two to one. It went out on two wheels. That fiend.
Adam West : He may be a fiend, but he's an excellent driver.
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Adam West : We've entered the mind of a madman.
Jerry the Butler : My mind and welcome to it.
Adam West : Alfred?
Jerry the Butler : Jerry! How many times do I have to tell you? It's Jerry!
Burt Ward : The butler did it. We should've seen this coming a mile away.
Adam West : Diabolical!
Jerry the Butler : Even more than you think, Mr. West.
[Jerry unmasks himself and it is Frank Gorshin]
Burt Ward : Holy plot twist! Your butler is... Frank Gorshin?
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Adam West : Hold it! Freeze that memory.