School of Rock (2003)

Mike White: Ned Schneebly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patty Di Marco : You know, Dewey, it's one thing to throw your life away! But then to put Ned's career in jeopardy is so selfish!

  Dewey Finn : Hey! You're the one who told me to be like Ned and get a job!

  Patty Di Marco : Yeah, yeah, I told you to be like Ned, Dewey! I didn't tell you to be Ned! And you're not gonna even apologize?

  Dewey Finn : YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING THE COPS! It's not like I murdered anybody! I just wanted a play a great show! I was this close!

  Ned Schneebly : [shouting]  SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Would you both just cut it out for one second?

  [Patty mutters something under her breath, then leaves] 

• Dewey Finn : Come on, man! One show, $20,000 prize, we split it 60-40, grab your bass and come back to the garage, brother! I mean, don't you miss rocking out?

  Patty Di Marco : Dewey, if you think anyone in the right mind is gonna wanna be in a band with you, you're more delusional than I thought.

  Ned Schneebly : Dewey, you know, maybe it's time to give up those dreams. I did, and things are going really great for me.

• [Dewey is dressed classy for the school presentation he has to give at Horace Green] 

  Ned Schneebly : What are you dressed up for?

  Dewey Finn : I got a hot date.

  Ned Schneebly : [rifling through mail]  That's weird. I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1,200. I've never worked there.

  [Dewey looks worried as Ned picks up the phone and starts dialing] 

  Dewey Finn : What are you doing?

  Ned Schneebly : Calling the school.

  [speaks into the phone] 

  Ned Schneebly : Hello, this is Ned Schneebly. Um...

  [Dewey breaks the call; Ned eyes him suspiciously] 

  Ned Schneebly : [confused]  Dewey? What's going on?

  Dewey Finn : [quietly frustrated]  I told them fifteen times, MAKE IT OUT TO CASH!

  Ned Schneebly : [hangs up the phone]  Dewey?

  Dewey Finn : [turns back to Ned, embarrassed]  I did something bad, Ned.

  Ned Schneebly : [finally understanding]  No...

  Dewey Finn : Yeah. They called, looking for a sub, and I said I was you, just to make some money. But then I got there, and the kids, they rock, man! There's this kid, Larry who's like,

  [imitating Larry] 

  Dewey Finn : "I'm not cool," and but now he's like...

  [imitating piano] 

  Dewey Finn : And there's this other girl who can sing like...

  [imitating Tomika's vocals] 

  Dewey Finn : But then she thought she was too fat to sing, so they were dying of this rare blood disease, and the principal got drunk. And now we're playing tomorrow at Battle of the Bands! Isn't that great! It's the coolest thing that ever happened! One day, that's all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my fault, you had nothing to do with it, you'll be fine, one day!

• Dewey Finn : [Patty opens the curtains. Dewey wakes up]  What? What is it?

  Ned Schneebly : Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and, uh, I would like you to share the rent now, please.

  Dewey Finn : Oh, man! You know I don't have it! You wake me up for that? Come on, man!

  Ned Schneebly : Sorry.

  [Patty glares at Ned fiercely; more sternly] 

  Ned Schneebly : Dewey, I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is!

  Patty Di Marco : Yeah, try 2200 dollars!

  Dewey Finn : Okay, you guys, the band is about to hit it big time. We're gonna win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I will throw you like a dog with a bone. Good night!

  Patty Di Marco : Oh, GIVE IT UP! YOUR BAND HAS NEVER MADE TWO CENTS!

  Ned Schneebly : Patty, come on! I'm on this!

  Patty Di Marco : Oh, you're on this? You're on this? He's walking all over you!

  Dewey Finn : Mommy, could we please talk about this later?

  Patty Di Marco : Uh, no, we can't talk about it later, because Ned and I have to go to work. We have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I'm an assistant to the mayor of this city, "hello"!

  Dewey Finn : What? Can you get her out of here, please? Why? Why her?

  Patty Di Marco : And Ned has the most important job there is.

  Dewey Finn : Temping?

  Ned Schneebly : [aggravated]  Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp!

  Dewey Finn : [sarcastically]  He's a babysitter!

  Ned Schneebly : Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? I'd like to see you try. You would've last one day!

  Dewey Finn : Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music! Rocking ain't no walk in the park, lady!

  Patty Di Marco : All right, this is useless, all right? You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week, he's out of here!

  Ned Schneebly : Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, I mean, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.

  Dewey Finn : What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?

  Patty Di Marco : Oh, my God, he's an idiot!

  Dewey Finn : Dude, I've been mooching off here for years, and it's never been a problem until she showed up. Just dump her, man!

  Ned Schneebly : Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some money, she's gonna dump me. She's fed up.

  Dewey Finn : Oh, really? Because that would be a good thing! She's a nightmare!

  Ned Schneebly : Come on! I may never have another girlfriend! Just come on! Come up with some money, please! Please!

  Dewey Finn : Okay, for you. Not for her, man, for you.

  Ned Schneebly : [calmly]  Thank you.