Photos
Quotes
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Count Olaf : I must say, you are a gloomy looking bunch. Why so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire : ...Our parents just died.
Count Olaf : Ah yes, of course. How very, very awful. Wait! Let me do that one more time. Give me the line again! Quickly, while it's fresh in my mind!
Klaus Baudelaire : [uncertainly] Our parents just died?
Count Olaf : [gasps dramatically]
Sunny : [in baby talk] What a schmuck!
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Count Olaf : [meeting the children for the first time] Ah! My dear...
[looks at stick figures of children with names on his hands]
Count Olaf : Violet. Enchantée!
Violet Baudelaire : Uh... how do you do?
Count Olaf : And this must be Klaus! Young Klaus! Your left side is the good one.
[looks with disgust at Sunny]
Count Olaf : And... what is *this*?
Sunny : [subtitled baby talk] I'm Sunny!
Count Olaf : I'm sorry. I don't speak monkey.
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Count Olaf : [speaking to Klaus] Why, you little...
Sunny : [bites him]
[speaking baby talk]
Sunny : Back off, Parrot Face!
Count Olaf : Ohhhh!
[gasping]
Sunny : [baby talk] I'll bite higher!
Count Olaf : [speaks gibberish]
Sunny : [baby talk] Don't mock me!
Count Olaf : [speaks gibberish again]
Sunny : [baby talk] Wow, you *are* nuts.
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[the Baudelaires are making Pasta Puttanesca]
Violet Baudelaire : Sunny, how's that pot coming?
[Sunny appears with a spitoon]
Sunny : [subtitled] Voila!
Klaus Baudelaire : Uh ,Sunny, that's not a pot. That's a spitoon.
Violet Baudelaire : A spitoon? You mean like...?
Klaus Baudelaire : [nods in disgust]
Violet Baudelaire : We'll wash it twice.
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Sunny : [about Aunt Josephine; subtitled baby talk] She's the *mayor* of crazy town!
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Violet Baudelaire : [points to the bobble head "Little Elf" in the rear window of the car] Sunny - bite the head off of that elf!
Sunny : [subtitled baby talk] Love to!
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[about Aunt Josephine's deceased husband, Ike]
Klaus Baudelaire : Did Ike die in a fire?
Aunt Josephine : No, no, silly boy... he was eaten by leeches.
Sunny : [non-subtitled] Okay
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Mr. Poe : ...So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf, who resides right here in the city just 37 blocks away.
Klaus Baudelaire : I don't think that's what "closest" is supposed to mean.
Violet Baudelaire : We don't know a Count Olaf.
Mr. Poe : Yes, yes, of course you do. He's either your third cousin four times removed or your forth cousin three times removed.
Sunny : [subtitled baby talk] Someone's BRAIN'S been removed!
Violet Baudelaire : Sunny!
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Uncle Monty : We can have time for chit-chat later. What I need now is the work of a reader, an inventor, and a biter.
Sunny : [in baby talk] My teeth are at your service, sir.
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Sunny : [subtitled baby talk] Someone's been to crazy town.
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Sunny : You can't be buying this.
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Count Olaf : Hello, hello, hello! I am your beloved Count Olaf!
Sunny : Gulp.