Carnival Nights (1968 TV Special)

Jack Benny: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Old Lady on Midway : [to Sammy the Swindler]  Who needs gold stock? I've got Social Security and Medicare.

  Jack Benny : [to us]  Now how can an honest swindler compete with the government?

• Jack Benny : Hey, do you have enough food for lunch?

  Lucille Ball : [as Agnes]  Yeah, we got low-cal drinks for the thin man, potatoes hi-cal for the fat man, bones for the dog-faced boy, rusty nails for the sword swallower, alphabet soup for the tattooed man, a glass of milk with a couple of straws in it for the two-headed man, and shortin' bread for the midget.