EuroTrip (2004)

Nial Iskhakov: Bert

Quotes 

• Scott : Why are you wearing my bathrobe?

  Bert : Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody *pissed* all over mine last night!

• Bert : No, retardo. That Jan, a man's name, and that's not "Mike", it's Mieke, a common German girl's name, similar to our Michele."

• [after seeing Scott at the Vatican on TV] 

  Bert : What a fucking loser, I'm gonna videotape this.

• Bert : I'm getting the video camera!

• Bert : [mocking Scott]  Fiona!

• Bert : No, retardo. That's Jan, a man's name, and that's not "Mike", it's Mieke, a common German girl's name, similar to our Michelle.