Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (2003 Video Game)

David Kaye: Clank, Arena Announcer, Robot, Hypnotist Head 2, Employee

Quotes 

• Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Welcome!

  Ratchet : What the...?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm Abercrombie Fizzwidget; founder of the Megacorp company in the Bogon galaxy.

  Ratchet : Bogon?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm sorry to incapacitate you, but our entire galaxy is in a very precocious situation. I must humbly request your sustenance, on a mission of dire urgitude. A mission of superfluous peril. A mission of unequizical imperitude.

  Clank : Did that make any sense?

  Ratchet : So, you need me to go on a dangerous mission, in another galaxy.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Indubitably. A few days ago this, top secret, biological experiment was stolen from our testing lavatory, by this duplitheros criminal mastermind and I need you to get the experiment back.

  Ratchet : We'll do it.

  Clank : We will?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Prank I have precipitated your incalcitrance and made special improvisations for you. We're prepared to give you a job as the head accountant for Megacorp, plus a penthouse suite in lovely Megapolis, and our state of the art robotic masseuse.

  Clank : [antenna flashes]  Deal.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : As for you Ratchet I'll need you in superfitory shape. While in transit to the Bogon galaxy, you'll undergo heavy training and conditioning including: martial arts, heavy weaponry, survival skills, stealth, macrame, ballroom dance and origami.

• [waking up from his electricity-induced coma] 

  Clank : The final digit of pi is...

• [first lines] 

  Interviewer : Welcome back to "Behind the Hero", tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet & Clank. So gentlemen tell us about your latest incredible adventures.

  Ratchet : Well as you can image, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls...

  Clank : ...and the wiener roast at Al's.

  Ratchet : Oh yeah that, and then things started to slow down a bit. After that we... well...

  Clank : There was the grand opening at "Groovy Lube".

  Ratchet : Right. I think that was, last week.

  Clank : Six months ago.

  Ratchet : We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh, domestic sense.

  Clank : Yesterday I flushed out my radiator core.

  Ratchet : I guess... no one needs a hero right now.

• Ratchet : [about the Helix-O-Morph]  What do you suppose is wrong with it?

  Angela : Oh I don't know, it could take months of research and...

  Clank : The battery is backward.

  Captain Qwark : Oops.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ha! Imbecilic to the very last.

• Ratchet : Hey, there's Mr. Fizzwidget!

  [Fizzwidget hums along to music playing in his ship and lands on top of Ratchet's ship, crushing it and knocking the heroes over with the shockwave] 

  Ratchet : Uh, what happened?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Everything's fine, there was just a bit of debris on the landing pad.

  Clank : That was our ship.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Don't worry about it little fella, it's insured. So do you have the er... delivery?

  [Clank hands him the experiment] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Terrifulous. Come gentlemen, there is precious little time.

  [they board the ship] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Just sit back and relax boys, how 'bout a little flying music?

  [presses the ejection button for the back row] 

  Ratchet : Aaaah!

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [sheepishly]  Oops.

• Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Hello?

  Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget! You're safe! Sir, brace yourself. We just saw a video of your experiment eating its handlers. I repeat, it eats its handlers.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [to someone offscreen]  Ah, yes. No fat, extra foam, no sprinkles.

  Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget, do you copy? Anyone handling the experiment must exercise the utmost caution.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : No, no, decafitated.

  [to Ratchet] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : What? Oh, yes, yes: exercise my front-most cushion.

  Ratchet : Ugh.

  Clank : Sir, your experts recommend that the experiment be liquidated, we will meet you at your deep space disposal facility.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ah, yes: my cheap date proposal facsimile. Its heavily guarded so be sure to use the password. Which is, ah, oh, ah, Qwarktastic, yes. Toodleoo.