Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (2003 Video Game)

Jim Ward: Abercrombie Fizzwidget, Captain Qwark, UltraTech Announcer, Corp Announcer, Qwarkbot Galactic Greetings Announcer

Quotes 

• Galactic Greetings Voice : Hello.

  Angela : Ratchet and Clank.

  Galactic Greetings Voice : You lucky devil!

  Angela : Angela Cross

  Galactic Greetings Voice : Has just sent you: a galactic greeting!

  Angela : Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, I've found my old ID badge. I'm pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ, but you're gonna have to hurry before the Protopets completely overrun us! Oh, and sorry for the ballon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get of this b...

  [is cut off] 

  Galactic Greetings Voice : We hope you enjoyed your galactic greeting!

• Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Welcome!

  Ratchet : What the...?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm Abercrombie Fizzwidget; founder of the Megacorp company in the Bogon galaxy.

  Ratchet : Bogon?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm sorry to incapacitate you, but our entire galaxy is in a very precocious situation. I must humbly request your sustenance, on a mission of dire urgitude. A mission of superfluous peril. A mission of unequizical imperitude.

  Clank : Did that make any sense?

  Ratchet : So, you need me to go on a dangerous mission, in another galaxy.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Indubitably. A few days ago this, top secret, biological experiment was stolen from our testing lavatory, by this duplitheros criminal mastermind and I need you to get the experiment back.

  Ratchet : We'll do it.

  Clank : We will?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Prank I have precipitated your incalcitrance and made special improvisations for you. We're prepared to give you a job as the head accountant for Megacorp, plus a penthouse suite in lovely Megapolis, and our state of the art robotic masseuse.

  Clank : [antenna flashes]  Deal.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : As for you Ratchet I'll need you in superfitory shape. While in transit to the Bogon galaxy, you'll undergo heavy training and conditioning including: martial arts, heavy weaponry, survival skills, stealth, macrame, ballroom dance and origami.

• Ratchet : [about the Helix-O-Morph]  What do you suppose is wrong with it?

  Angela : Oh I don't know, it could take months of research and...

  Clank : The battery is backward.

  Captain Qwark : Oops.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ha! Imbecilic to the very last.

• Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Good work my boy, you're proving to be invaluable in this underwear. Any who, it appears the Thief is now under the protection of "Thugs-4-Less", but I may have found a way for you to insinuate their operation.

  Ratchet : Is it... dangerous?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : No, no, no, er, well, ah, actually yes it is.

• Ratchet : Hey, there's Mr. Fizzwidget!

  [Fizzwidget hums along to music playing in his ship and lands on top of Ratchet's ship, crushing it and knocking the heroes over with the shockwave] 

  Ratchet : Uh, what happened?

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Everything's fine, there was just a bit of debris on the landing pad.

  Clank : That was our ship.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Don't worry about it little fella, it's insured. So do you have the er... delivery?

  [Clank hands him the experiment] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Terrifulous. Come gentlemen, there is precious little time.

  [they board the ship] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Just sit back and relax boys, how 'bout a little flying music?

  [presses the ejection button for the back row] 

  Ratchet : Aaaah!

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [sheepishly]  Oops.

• Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Hello?

  Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget! You're safe! Sir, brace yourself. We just saw a video of your experiment eating its handlers. I repeat, it eats its handlers.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [to someone offscreen]  Ah, yes. No fat, extra foam, no sprinkles.

  Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget, do you copy? Anyone handling the experiment must exercise the utmost caution.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : No, no, decafitated.

  [to Ratchet] 

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : What? Oh, yes, yes: exercise my front-most cushion.

  Ratchet : Ugh.

  Clank : Sir, your experts recommend that the experiment be liquidated, we will meet you at your deep space disposal facility.

  Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ah, yes: my cheap date proposal facsimile. Its heavily guarded so be sure to use the password. Which is, ah, oh, ah, Qwarktastic, yes. Toodleoo.