Midsomer Murders (TV Series)
Birds of Prey (2003)
John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby
Quotes
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Dr Bullard : I could tell you what he had for dinner. I could tell you he wasn't in the habit of rinsing his hair properly. But I can't tell you what he was thinking.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Hm, no. What do you mean he didn't rinse his hair properly?
Dr Bullard : There's some gunge at the roots. It turned out to be conditioner.
DCI Tom Barnaby : So when did he wash his hair, then? Yesterday morning? Later?
Dr Bullard : I guess later. Tom, there's nothing very suspicious about a man who doesn't wash his hair properly.
DCI Tom Barnaby : No, but there's something rather odd about a man who washes his hair just before killing himself.
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[last lines]
DCI Tom Barnaby : Joyce, what have you done?
Joyce Barnaby : Since you were never going to look seriously at the brochures, I took the dates, and Cully did it. We're booked. We're going to Botswana in April.
[passes him the brochure]
Joyce Barnaby : Here's to our holiday.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Joyce, looks as if these people are sitting on top of an elephant.
Joyce Barnaby : That's right. It's an elephant-back safari. Won't it be wonderful! Cheers.
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DCI Tom Barnaby : [notices the mud on Troy's pants and shoes] What happened to you?
Sgt Gavin Troy : What do you mean?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Well, I can only hope you're not going to try to claim for a new suit on your expenses, Troy.
Sgt Gavin Troy : Oh, I'm not bothered about that.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Good. I'm glad to see you're prepared to make sacrifices in the line of duty. You look like you had quite a day.
Sgt Gavin Troy : I have. There's a lot more to to wildlife crime than you think.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Is there any chance you could bring in a little less of it back into the office with you tomorrow?
Sgt Gavin Troy : I don't think Wildlife Liaison is treated seriously enough in CID. We don't spend enough time on it.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Hm, well, after the road to Damascus you've been traveling on with Constable Pearce, I'm sure you'll do your best to remedy that.
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Joyce Barnaby : I don't know what it's like. I've never even seen it in a supermarket before. I thought it would set the right sort of mood.
[begins eating]
Joyce Barnaby : Mmm. It's not bad.
DCI Tom Barnaby : No, it's very good. What is it?
Joyce Barnaby : Ostrich.
DCI Tom Barnaby : I thought you wanted to see the animals, not eat them.
Joyce Barnaby : I do, but it was the only thing I could find that was African. Well, I say African. The ostrich farm is just outside Cheltenham. The wine is South African. Cheers.
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Cully Barnaby : Ah ha! I'm glad I caught you. You can have a look at these at work.
DCI Tom Barnaby : What about crime?
Cully Barnaby : It won't go away, Dad.
DCI Tom Barnaby : I didn't realize that working for a travel agent was a conspiracy.
Cully Barnaby : More of a happy coincidence.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Thank you.
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Sgt Gavin Troy : It's a waste of time.
DCI Tom Barnaby : It's a crime,Troy, you are a detective. Don't expect me to treat it differently to any other crime.
PC Sarah Pearce : I'm looking for DS Troy, sir.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh, well, you've found him.
[points at Troy]
PC Sarah Pearce : Hi, I'm Constable Pearce, Sarah, Wildlife Liaison Officer.
Sgt Gavin Troy : Oh right, yes, nice to meet you.
PC Sarah Pearce : Um, is... is that what you're wearing, Sergeant?
Sgt Gavin Troy : Well, I've got some wellies.
PC Sarah Pearce : I'm in the car park.
Sgt Gavin Troy : On my way.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Not all bad news, then, wildlife liaison.
Sgt Gavin Troy : Well, it's like you said,sir, a crime is a crime, after all. Thank you.
-
PC Sarah Pearce : I owe you a drink sometime. You know Moorcroft was so afraid of what he got involved in, he's delivered his whole network.
Sgt Gavin Troy : Right. Great. Well, I don't know when, um, I get off about, uh... well, it depends what's happening.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Oi, you can get off about
[looks at his watch]
DCI Tom Barnaby : now.
Sgt Gavin Troy : Oh, right, cool.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Cool?
Sgt Gavin Troy : I mean, thank you, sir.