Bite Me! (2004 Video) User Reviews

Bite Me

[shadowfever · 5/10 · 26 December 2008]

A romp. A fun-filled, low budget campy horror movie that is an entertaining way to spend a rainy afternoon. More original that many more expensive movies, I became an instant fan of Mr. Piper.

Never tries to be more than it is but still manages to surpass many films in it's genre, and even some movies that they spent big bucks on.

Misty Mundae, what can you say. The kind of wholesome looking innocent that we would all love to do soft porn with. I really wasn't aware of her "other work" until after seeing this film. Quite versatile, and, uh, talented.

The characters were, by necessity, not multi-dimensional (though a few would be great in 3-D), but they were fun and interesting, in an intentionally cartoonish sort of way.

Fun nonsense with female strippers & monsters

[Vomitron_G · 5/10 · 17 May 2011]

Every now and then I like watching silly crap. And this movie succeeds in being what it wants to be: Total silly nonsense. Add a little fun stop-motion effects (mutant sex-drive-increasing ticks crawling around everywhere and a human-sized mutant tick-man at the end) and quite a lot of nekkid boobies (provided by Misty Mundae, amongst others), and you could say this one is somewhat of a fun watch. But the acting often is so abominable that it hurts. In the end, all that remains is a movie that isn't going anywhere, but you can have a fun time just staying at the main location of this movie (being a titty-bar infested by the aforementioned critters). Near the end the movie gives more than one nod to older giant monster classics (and this doesn't exactly mean that there is a big climax with a giant monster reeking havoc or anything - just see it and you'll understand).

More a T&A flick than a horror flick

[smatysia · 5/10 · 5 July 2005]

Where to start on this one? It is a "horror" film that aspires for camp, and never takes itself seriously. At all. Nothing is worse than a movie that aims for camp and misses. This one misses, but not by a wide mark. It almost makes it. The bug effects are cheesy, and the filmmakers know it. (I still found them creepy, but I am a major arachnophobe. To anyone else, they're just kind of bad.) I considered this to basically be a T & A movie with the comic horror grafted on to have something going on between nude scenes. The T & A aspect of the film was much better than I thought it would be. First, since the setting is a strip club, much of the nudity is of strippers on stage, which is one of the least erotic ways to portray female skin. But it really was better than you would think, partly because they weren't really playing it "straight" in these scenes, but sort of playing it for chuckles. Second, as anyone who reads a lot my reviews would know, (NOTE: I would find it shocking, and a bit disturbing, if there were any such person) I have been on a long anti-silicone crusade. Ladies, those big stiff, spherical mounds of minerals are UGLY!!! Most or all of the boobies on display here are natural-looking and beautiful. Yes, they may not be DDD's, but IMHO, are a hundred times prettier than, say, Julie Strain's. Misty Mundae is really pretty and sweet-looking, if not the best actress in the world. And especially pretty was Erika Smith. I'd like to see both of them get chances in better movies. The three main male characters were silly, attempted campy, way-over-the-top, messes. If you're going to check this one out, do so for the pretty girls, not the horror or the camp. You'll be much less disappointed.

A great little flick that's not trying to be anything it's not but just fun

[crueltwistoffate · 9 April 2005]

A wonderful treat of a film. It's campy, it's dumb but it's pure. This movie isn't trying to be more than it is...a fun flick. There's something about this film, there's a charm to it to the dialogue and the characters. If your looking for the best horror film ever than this isn't it but if you just wanna kick back and enjoy yourself than this is a great film. This is one of those flicks that you can watch repeatably with a smile (there are Great films out there that aren't meant for repeat viewings. Once is enough for a while)For me this ranks up with some of the films I just love, so much so that I can even repeat some of the character's lines, and still doesn't loose it's charm.

There's a scene where we first meet Erika Smith's character Trix and Misty talk in front of the mirror and every time I watch it puts a smile on my face. Most people would say their interaction is board line bad acting but to me it's great scene because the girls have a charm that I can't get mad at them. There's BAD ACTING like that kid in Home Alone 3 and Briteny Spears in Cross road and there there's bad acting that's forgivable. So out of my rating of: Crap,Decent,Good, Great and a bad MF(that's saved only for films that I just adore and leave an impression on me even after the film is over) it gets "A Bad MF".

Please run away from this movie cover!!

[dmbucher · 1/10 · 3 May 2005]

I just watched this is movie in one setting. That is quite frankly unbelievable. When you see a video cover such as this one, you pick it up wondering if this might actually be entertaining. Unfortunately, this movie was just so poorly written, I don't know how any sane person could understand it. The most "what just happened!?" part is when one of the dancers suddenly puts on camoflauge gear and starts wielding a gun. You don't even get to see the destructive spider scenes until about the very last 10 minutes. Are the first 70-some minutes considered an exciting build up?? I just don't understand how movies like this get decent budgets to create!!

Bite me!

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 30 January 2022]

Strip clubs are, by and large, incredibly boring places. Take it from someone who may have nearly married a dancer and who was also with someone for a long time who covered them. They're only exciting if you're drunk, have money and no access to women. Well, unless they're the club in the movie, Strip-O-Sauraus, which has giant dinosaurs in the parking lot. That's kinda cool, right?

Crystal is played by Erin Brown, she was born Erin DeWright but may be better known as Misty Mundae. You may also recognize Teresa as Julian Wells, but she's also appeared as Suzy McCoppin in movies like Fist of the Warrior and has covered nightlife and sexuality for several magazines, TV shows and websites. Trix is Erika Smith, who has a ton of credits but perhaps the best is Van Helsing in The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing, which I had no idea was a thing.

There's a weed deal gone wrong at the club and all the cockroaches become bloodthirsty vampire cockroaches, which isn't good at all, and it gets worse when Crystal gets bit by one of them.

So yeah, maybe this club is a little more exciting than somewhere like Cheerleaders on a cold January night in Pittsburgh.

Here's to Brett Piper, still making movies (well, this is from 2004, but he's still directing stuff like Outpost Earth and doing effects for Shark Encounters of the Third Kind).

Bites the Big One

[ghoulieguru · 2/10 · 8 December 2004]

You get what you deserve if you rent this movie. I mean, if the title and the box art don't tell you that this is movie is horrible, then you need to recalibrate your crap meter. The only redeeming thing about this movie is that it seems to revel in its own manure like a pig, and it doesn't take itself very seriously. This movie is so bad, it's almost good. If they had cut the budget a little more and made the bugs out of paper mache, they could have called this the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" for the new millennium. It's pathetic films like this that keep horror in the ghetto. Just like school in the summertime... no class. Fans of Troma films will be in hog heaven, but everyone else should steer clear.

One for the "Up All Night" Fans

[w00f · 5/10 · 24 February 2007]

How could a guy from Brooklyn possibly resist watching a flick with a title like "Bite Me!," anyhow? Particularly when the plot involves strippers battling giant tick/spider monsters that emerge from a crate of tainted marijuana! I mean, did Brett Piper write this one just for me or something? And yes, the movie was every bit as silly as the title and story sound. The only thing missing was Rhonda Shears intoning "Up all night." This is a trash flick in the fine tradition of such cinematic tour de frass as "Dr. Alien" (AKA I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant) and "Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD." At no point did Bite Me! ever come close to taking itself seriously, which is a good thing when you're talking about strippers and giant spiders. There was sex and drugs, not so much rock 'n roll, cartoonish characters — Michael Thomas clearly deserves some sort of award for the dumbest portrayal of a gangster ever — and a few nude scenes involving two or more caricatures of strippers. Not my type, mind you, but I got the point; they have boobs, and they will be the co-stars alongside the killer spiders. Yay.

Folks who enjoy the Golden Age of comedy-horror/sci fi cheese will have a good time with "Bite Me!," no doubt. If you used to watch "USA: Up All Night," then you're one of those people. Have fun!

Not bad, even though it wants to be.

[jefctaylor · 5/10 · 17 July 2005]

This premeditated camp aspires to be "so bad it's good" and nearly succeeds. Shot with direct-to-DVD porn-like production values and some "Ice Pirates" level monster effects, it manages to be somewhat entertaining. There are no scares, little gore (the monsters are fragile, tarantula-sized ticks, that can be dispatched into a pint of splashing fake blood with a rolled-up newspaper), some laughs and a few groans. The presence of naked ladies seems calculated to win the movie a Friday night pay channel spot. Extras include an interview with star Misty Mundae--herself an aspiring filmmaker. One suspects that if the makers of "Bite Me!" aimed just a little higher they may actually hit the mark, but they are content to stay on the low road.

Super Stripper Action!

[allencurl-1 · 7/10 · 23 August 2009]

This movie, although it is independent, it totally awesome! The acting isn't that bad and the plot isn't too shabby either; and OF COURSE being a B-movie, it has to end with a 'the end OR IS IT' kind of ending. I was laughing through this whole movie- I was either laughing at the funny lines, stupid plot, or just making fun of the movie in general. I have got to hand it to them, though, the strippers are HOT! There is a scene, for you faint of heart, where the bartender and a female mobster make out for an extended period of time (though all the making out is done under a sheet, they just 'do it' in front of everyone which is weird but hey- it's a b movie and doesn't have to make sense!) This is a bad movie, but not SOOOO bad you can comfortably make fun of it for its sheer stupidity; it was actually kind of decent for a b movie. I would have to say the worst part is the ending!! I would have LOVED to have seen more of the monster- and what was with that giant spider at the end? That is not really leaving the ending up to chance, it is just not ending the movie entirely. All in all, I would have to say that this isn't the must see of the year, but is is definitely okay to watch as long as you are not in the presence of company that you cannot comfortably view lesbian sex in front of- that is a biggie. Wouldn't want to watch this one in front of Grandma or anything like that. The biggest thing is don't take other people's word for it- see it your self!!! (I would recommend seeing it at least twice for all those b movie lovers out there!- for me, b movies are never good the first time around!!!!)

Silly campy non horror

[Floated2 · 3/10 · 26 January 2024]

A rather lower budget film described as horror though its tone and overall set is far too campy as it doesn't take itself serious. There is several scenes of skin and explicit scenes shown but nothing too over the top

As for a film, Bite Me had somewhat promise (bio-engineered marijuana, giant bugs, and strippers) but the acting is below, the effects (especially the bugs) look like they were done in Paintshop, and the story contains several shower scenes and so much idiot dialogue that getting through the entire movie was exhausting. Simply a time waster type film. Nothing too memorable but some decent moments.

Funny as H E double hockey sticks!

[lord_of_incubi · 8/10 · 17 December 2004]

Okay, this got ripped by other people,, but I loved it. Yeah okay, I knew it was a low budget movie, and I had very low expectations. But this movie was entertaining and funny. I laughed too many times to count in this movie, and it was in response to things that were meant to be funny.

Come on, you have to love the premise. Sure it was campy, but is that a bad thing? I've seen way worse lately, and this would be on any short list of party movies I would put together. Rent it expecting an Oscar film and you'll be disappointed. To quote one actress from the movie "Duh!". Rent it expecting campy fun, it delivers. And not without a good deal of originality.

For that's what bugs do

[unbrokenmetal · 7/10 · 9 April 2011]

'Bite Me!' was great fun watching, I enjoyed every minute if it! Every character is achieving the opposite of what he/she intends to, that is the formula of the comedy effect. The manager of the club tries to organize everything, but gets mad over the whole chaos instead. Buzz the Exterminator loves insects too much to hurt them. The dancers are too tired to dance. And the lady who wants to ruin the manager becomes an attraction of his club instead. Well, for a short time at least. Only the bugs are good at what they are doing: bite! Even if the side-effects are remarkable...

While everyone else would have used a guy in a suit to play the bug monster guy, Brett Piper used stop-animation for that, too, which is an amazing piece of work. Coincidentally, I made some stop-animation student films in the 1980s myself on 8mm film and know how much time, patience and care a few seconds of such a scene take, which is why hardly anyone still uses that technique anymore. Fortunately, exploitation flicks sometimes have a lot more to offer than just the female anatomy bits and buckets of blood. Not that I'm about to complain about either of these two, though... It's bug for the buck.

BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR(prolly of all time)

[kmkjuggalo6 · 28 March 2005]

My cousin and I went to blockbuster last night and saw the cover on the shelf. We read the description about the bioengineered marijuana ending up in a strip joint so we decided to get it for laughs. Turned out the movie was great!!! This movie had it all Comedy, Horror, Nudity, Comedy, Action, and Nudity. The story goes as these people have marijuana and they die and the dealer finds it. Thn it goes to credits where a girl is stripping while the words are on screen. Then the bioengineered marijuana ends up in the strip joint and trouble occurs. And a very long lesbian sex scene which is spreads throughout the movie. I recommend you go to the store , blockbuster wherever you can go to find it and get it. I love the movie i give it 2 thumbs up and on a scale from 1 to 10 i give it an 11

It Tastes Like Easter

[nogodnomasters · 6/10 · 3 July 2017]

A government experimental strain of large mutant spiders that behave as tics, has left Melpaso, Arizona (near Paramus, NJ) in a crate of marijuana.It ends up at the Go-Go Souros strip joint where the owner needs money fast to buy out his deceased partner's wife. The creatures become a problem.

This is the second film I have seen where Misty Mundae is bitten by a spider. Misty is nice to look at, but really doesn't know how to pole dance. The jokes were not great and the situational comedy was flat. The film didn't really get good until the last 20 minutes...if you don't count the soft core nudity. As always Misty films are always fun as she tries to act.

Guide: F-word. FFsex. Nudity (Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Erika Smith, Caitlin Ross)

Better than Titanic!

[grghull · 8/10 · 15 February 2005]

Of course that's not saying much because Titanic sucked, but this is certainly the most inspired mutant-bugs-invade-a-strip-joint movie I've ever seen. It reminded me of the old drive-in movies I saw as a kid. The effects may be a bit old fashioned but not one of the shots is as lame as James Cameron's cartoon boat (okay, enough Titanic bashing). This movie was brainless goofy fun. The girls were cute. The guy playing the stoned out exterminator was a riot. And his fight with the wacko drug agent was a highpoint. I also liked the giant Godzilla style statue that gave the club its name and the Harryhausen-style fight that took place inside it. All in all a cool way to kill an afternoon for creature feature fans. I say check it out.

I love cheese

[TheLoveBandit · 7/10 · 13 March 2015]

I watch a lot of these B films with the hopes of finding some gem, but of course most of them are simply bad. "Bite Me!" was that gem. You know what you're getting with nearly any B movie, but this one piqued my interest a bit more with the stop motion animation. So I gave it a try.

The first two-thirds of the film didn't drag, but weren't stellar. The initial scene with the two guys driving the car, and their demise, really could have been left out of the film for the most part. It filled 5-10 minutes and provided about 3 lines of plot that could have been delivered by other means besides a car crash and a few phone calls.

So the middle phase is dominated by character development in the strip club. It managed not to suck, and held my interest primarily with the nudity and I was wondering if there would be any more to the story. Still, nudity and not-bad acting (in fact pretty good for a B flick) was carrying me.

Then the last 15-25 minutes kicked in and things really got going. The characters really blossomed, especially once they got bit. And the whole 'dinosaurs in the backyard' got me for the fact there was never even attempt at explanation....it just is, roll with it. Still, the best was the characters. They executed their given roles wonderfully, pulling several laugh out loud moments mixed with and sometimes because of several wtf moments. This was too good to be accidental, so my appreciation not just for the actors but for writing and direction, and of course for special effects. I'll admit, Crystal (Misty Mundae) grew on me a bit, especially her character after being bit, but the one who earned my greatest appreciation was Amber (Caitlin Ross) for playing the (un-phase- able) pot head stripper. She was solid throughout, though it took me a bit of time for her personality to start playing the straight for all the scenes.

I love cheese, and this was quality cheese with a healthy dose of fun. You aren't getting Oscar quality when you pick up a film like this, but you are rewarded for one of the best I've seen in this class of film. Definitely recommended.

Strippers, bugs and breasts

[Dr. Gore · 14 November 2004]

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

A bunch of spiders turn into blood sucking mutant spiders when they eat a super hybrid of pot. A crate of the stuff ends up at a strip club. The rest of the movie writes itself.

I enjoyed "Bite me!". It was a proud B-movie. One of the posters on the strip club manager's wall was for "Barbed Wire Dolls". I wouldn't put "Bite Me!" in the same category as that sleaze masterpiece but I had some fun watching it. The spiders were cheap, the strip club looked like an abandoned garage, the strippers were sleepy but "Bite Me!" is good for some cheap Saturday night entertainment.

I've given Misty Mundae a lot of grief but she's starting to grow on me. I think I like her better when she has her clothes on. She was pretty good in this one. Any girl who lets a blood sucking spider attack her can't be all bad.

The best scene has Julian Wells as the uptight businesswoman who loosens up when a spider chomps her. "You call that dancing?! I'll show you dancing." She then hops on stage to do some spider venom stripping. I rewound that scene four times. I especially liked the whip sound effect when Wells whips her hair around. She has got the hair toss down. Whip it Wells. Whip it good.

Fairly typical Mundae offering - though not among her best

[Groverdox · 6/10 · 8 December 2019]

You know what to expect from a Misty Mundae flick (or as she's now known, Erin Brown). Softcore sex, low budget, ridiculous plots and special effects, and over-the-top, campy acting.

The movies are usually enjoyable and entertaining, though.

"Bite Me!" is no exception to this rule, though it does drag quite a bit in several parts. It's still entertaining in spurts.

How can you not love Misty? She's a natural beauty, and a girl-next-door type. The movie also has some other beautiful actresses getting naked, and having lesbian sex.

The plot is something to do with a group of unintelligent and listless strippers, and mutant ticks that come from toxic marijuana... or something. I didn't really get it, but I enjoyed Misty's presence, and the movie does feature a couple of things I hadn't seen before: one, a stripper falling asleep against her pole while on-stage, and two, one of these poorly animated CGI arachnid things apparently running up a woman's butt while she sits on the toilet. It's not shown in any detail, or course, but it is different.

"Bite Me!" is recommended viewing if you are a Mundae fan, but it's not one of her best: "SpiderBabe" still retains that honour.

8/31/2022

[awbusa · 10/10 · 1 September 2022]

I'm watching this right now on TUBI , 8/31/2022 11:38pm NYS USA time - it's goofy as all hell but funny and the fight scenes between GINA & the 2 guys looked better than the fights in the current MCU movies , so I recommend watching this movie at least once - just watch and enjoy the cheesiness of it all - the story is reused from different movies and the acting is okay but at least it's edited so the viewers can actually see whats happening - my score 7 STARS ⭐ - why does my review require 600 characters , I already typed my opionions of this movie , I guess I could mention the DON'T CARE ATTITUDES of the cast in their dialogue and behavior , it's actually fun to watch -

Stay Away From This Movie

[paistss · 26 November 2004]

I enjoy watching cheesy horror movies. The more far-fetched and badly filmed they are, usually the more entertaining. Bite Me was my first and last "Shock-o-Rama" experience. The story had promise (bio-engineered marijuana, giant bugs, and strippers) but the acting is below porno-level, the effects (especially the bugs) look like they were done in Paintshop, and the story contains so many shower scenes and so much idiot dialog that getting through the entire movie was exhausting. Never watch this movie, and if this is an example of Shock-o-Rama's material, stay away from Shock-o-Rama. If you're looking for a good cheesy horror movie, check out "Demons at the Door" or "Corpses are Forever".

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest.

[cannibalcam · 6 October 2006]

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest. You like what Ray Harryhausen did for the genre back in the KONG KONG and CLASH OF THE TITAN days? Then I think you might like what the ole Piper boy can do himself. If you don't mind the gratuitous violence and sex appeal. I'm pretty sure you don't.

Some crazy killer weed is being shipped to a strip club where it will soon be distributed amongst the drug induced culture. But before it gets to the club, the first of the carriers get into a little trouble with some sort of spider attack. They seemed to have crept there way out of the crates containing the weed and onto the unsuspecting victims. The next pick up grabs the weed from the now deceased delivery guys and off to the strip club it goes which now a corrupt little weasel gets his hands into it to soon make a quick buck, not knowing what he really is getting his greasy little paws into. Before we get into the bug problem, the strippers Crystal (Misty Mundae), Amber (Caitlin ross), and Teresa (Julian Wells) are over over worked. To the point that Amber passes out while doing a cute and tiresome routine. Teresa is a bumbling goof ball that trips over her own 2 feet. The bar is a little in the slow. The ladies are tired and now the show needs a little pizazz. Well, lets bring in the shipment and now the fun begins. The critters are escaping and chaos ensues. The DEA gets involved since the owner is such a crook, but what he gets himself into is a whole other story. Well, not really but what happens to him is a surprise also. Bugs, boobs, jokes and laughs and a little bit of the goopy red sauce for the extra goodness.

I like to say that this would be another viewing for sure. Funny, gory and just plain cool with Brett's stop motion goofiness. The cast does a pretty good job strippin and having there way with the bugs. The only thing I found kind of a rip was the exterminator (Rob Monkiewicz of ARACHNIA and SCREAMING DEAD) playing a direct rip off of the UPS guy on Mad TV. Total rip, a little to obvious but still funny none the less. Usually he plays the serious, good call. It looks pretty flawless this time around with the stop motion. In ARACHNIA, it seemed way to cheap. Almost can't see the seems most of the time in this. Great job on that one.

A documentary, How to crash a car in 2 hours featurette, rue Morgue's Festival of Fear world premier screening (I was looking for myself in it but to no avail), Making movies with Misty, CKY video, CKY mini documentary, Booklet and more. This is surely a great bang for your buck if you are weary of cheap films. Kind of cheap but not on a Sub Rosa Studios cheapness. This is great compared to those. Long live the bugs!!!!

rubbish

[ppnelson · 27 January 2005]

this film is rubbish... campy is OK, but bad campy is a sin. the thing that makes this film really unforgivable is the attitude of it's star misty mundae who seems whiny and spoiled on her interview. you would think she had talent if you saw her interview. some have said that the nudity at least redeems the film, however the nudity is C rate also. the film just sucks and it totally misses the mark. the director seems like he doesn't have any artistic feel for even making a bad film, which i guess there is an art to everything. furthermore, the actresses come across very ignorant in there blind backing of the film with statements like "yeah i hate CG it looks so bad, stop animation is so much more real"... get off it you are giving indie films a bad rep and making us look dumb. i think they might not even know what CG is they just where told to say that. ps the stop animation is called antiquated for a reason.

"It's Kinda Hard To Get Upset About Anything When You're Comatose!'...

[azathothpwiggins · 29 December 2018]

At the world's most lackadaisical strip club, a crate of "super" marijuana is delivered. It seems that the "wonder weed" has been infiltrated by spiders, causing them to mutate! Can giant, cartoon-y arachnids be far off?

Nope. Horror and mayhem ensue.

BITE ME! is Director Brett Piper's ultra-low budget ode to 1950's sci-fi / monster movies.

WARNING! This movie contains: Lunkheaded characters! Loads of languid, sleep-inducing nudity! Half-baked, half-wit humor! Annnd, dullness that could cause a slow, meaningless death!

SPECIAL MENTION: For the strippers, who perform their routines as though they've been given elephant tranquilizers!

Stars Erin "Misty Mundae" Brown as Crystal. Nothing can prepare you for Crystal going Rambo for the nonsensical finale!...