Wake Up, Ron Burgundy (2004 Video)

Maya Rudolph: Kanshasha X

Quotes 

• Paul Hauser : [the Alarm Clock is robbing a bank... he approaches a teller]  We got guns! Now fill this sack with cash!

  Bank Teller : Uh... what do your masks mean?

  Paul Hauser : Just fill this sack with cash!

  Bank Teller : Just what point are you trying to make? Do you not like Lincoln?

  Paul Hauser : Of course we like Lincoln. He freed the slaves.

  Bank Teller : [looking at their masked faces]  So you like Lincoln, and uh... Nixon, and uh, werewolves?

  Paul Hauser : What?

  Bank Teller : I mean Nixon, whatever... he's kind of a creep. But werewolves? Werewolves are the walking undead... they're bloodthirsty killers! Who likes werewolves?

  Kanshasha X : We don't like werewolves, man! We hate werewolves!

  Bank Teller : Well, you've got a werewolf mask on, so...

  Kanshasha X : I can see that!

  Bank Teller : Are you bloodthirsty killers?

  Paul Hauser : No... we are not bloodthirsty killers, okay? We're pacifists!

  Bank Teller : It's not a really smart thing to tell somebody when you're robbing them, okay, that you're a pacifist, 'cause now I know that you're not going to kill me.

  Malcolm Y : Man, somebody shut her up!

  Paul Hauser : No no no... listen, you've got it all wrong, okay? This is just a cover, to cover our faces.

  Bank Teller : No, I'm not gonna give you money, because you didn't deserve it! I mean, you say you're a political group? You come in here with a Nixon mask, and a werewolf mask, and a Lincoln mask? I'm gonna make connections! So... so what's your statement?

  [points to Malcolm Y] 

  Bank Teller : And this guy's not even wearing a mask!

  Malcolm Y : [racks rifle]  'Cause I don't give a shit!

  Bank Teller : That's scary to me. That works. I will give that gentleman a little bit of money. But the rest of you? Beat it!

• Bank Teller : [mockingly as The Alarm Clock walks out of the bank after not getting any money]  It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

  Kanshasha X : I'm coming back for you! You got a bad attitude!

  Bank Teller : You've got a bad attitude, SIR!

  Kanshasha X : [stammering]  You... you're a jerk!

• Bank Teller : Here's some truth for you... The Alarm Clock is a ridiculous name. It's not scary!

  Kanshasha X : Man, she's pissing me off! Let's shoot her!

  Bank Teller : Excuse me sir, could you lower your voice?

  Kanshasha X : Aw, hell no!

  [raises her werewolf mask] 

  Kanshasha X : Now you're calling me sir? I am a ma'am, ma'am!

  Bank Teller : I'm sorry... I didn't know what sex the werewolf was!

  Kanshasha X : How many werewolves you see around here wearing a skirt? And a gun! NONE!

  Bank Teller : You know what? Get out of here, you dicks!

  [throws sack back at Paul] 

  Bank Teller : You're a bunch of dicks!