- Willy: [imitating Maya Angelou] Like the blood pressure on a black woman, eating pork all her life, still I rise. I am the hope of the slave and I don't work for free. Somebody better find my check. Or a phenomenal woman will get beat phenomenally.
- Diana Massey: So, how can you tell if a man is cheating on you?
- Madea: You think your man cheatin on you?
- Diana Massey: Yes I do...
- Madea: That's how you can tell.
- Willy: [to Ann] I got 27 different people live in my head, and every one of them ready to beat the hell out of you.
- Ann: You need a deposit like a credit card or cash...
- Leroy Brown: Oh yeah, I know all about that dep-o-sit.
- [takes out a bag of coins and drops it on the counter]
- Woman at Hotel: You probably go around writing bad checks everywhere? Do you hear me, you little bad lady?
- Madea: [shoots round from pistol] Nah, do you hear me? Do you hear me?
- Ann: I'll have the corporate office mail you your check.
- Willy: I didn't mail my work up in here. You ain't finna mail me no check.
- Willy: [to Cora about Ann] You're gonna get us in trouble with her.
- Leroy Brown: I know that's right, I asked if they had a place I could shout, she said 'we don't do that here', I think she a alias.
- Willy: What's an alias?
- Leroy Brown: An alias is a person that don't believe in God, why're
- [you]
- Leroy Brown: acting dumb like brrrrrrduh?
- Madea: If you tell a man that you're going to call 911 and he backs off, that's a man who beats up on women cuz he's scared to beat up a man. But if you tell him you're going to call 911 and he says he'll call them for you, run. That's a crazy man who will beat up a woman or a man and you run out of there no matter what you gotta do, even if you're naked you get away from him as fast as you can.