- Haley Graham: [V.O] Gymnastics tells you 'no' all day long. It mocks you over and over again, telling you that you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like running full speed towards a stationary object, vault's for you. If you like peeling pieces of skin the size of quarters off your hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun than rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor? Are you serious? I mean, who doesn't wanna parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees and your pride! Good thing I didn't like falling. I *loved* it!
- Haley Graham: [V.O] Elite gymnastics is like Navy SEALs, only harder. There are like, 2000 Navy SEALs, but there are only like, 200 elite gymnasts. I guess that's because most kids would rather have a life than spend six hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Look, don't be fooled by the leotards, people. The things gymnasts do make Navy SEALs look like wusses. And we do them *without* a gun!
- Haley Graham: Can you believe this? Did you see it?
- Poot: Yeah, I saw it. Are you... totally covered in soda, or what?
- Haley Graham: Oh, yeah, great. Thank you.
- Frank: I'm so pissed at that kid. We were totally gonna throw drinks on you. I feel so upstaged.
- Poot: I mean, what? They think they can just hate on you like that?
- Frank: I know! Dude, who do they think they are?
- Poot: They're fakers, that's who. I can't stand fake Haley-haters!
- Frank: It's a bloody outrage, I tell ya!
- Poot: [Yelling] We hate Haley more, people, so *get in line*!
- Haley Graham: Would you shut up?
- Haley Graham: Can't I be upset?
- Haley Graham: Can I go compete now?
- [Walks away]
- Frank: Can I eat? I'm so hungry.
- Poot: [Rubs his head] Let's get some nachos.
- Joanne: When is your prom? I need time, dates, transportation. And you better be getting me a corsage.
- Frank: Are you kidding me? She's a bitch.
- Poot: Dude.
- Joanne: What?
- Frank: You heard me, Miss Bossy Booty. I don't like how you act.
- Poot: Dude, I totally hate you right now!
- [to Joanne]
- Poot: See, what Frank is really trying to say is, um, it would be my honor.
- Joanne: You think I'm a bitch?
- Poot: [a beat] No. Yeah, kinda, I do. But, I don't have the problem with it that Frank does. I mean, he's gay!
- Joanne: Call me.
- Poot: Stalk you.
- Burt Vickerman: You gonna be ready soon?
- Haley Graham: Yup.
- Burt Vickerman: You gonna hurt yourself?
- Haley Graham: Probably.
- Burt Vickerman: Just don't get any blood on the equipment.
- Haley Graham: [Clicks tongue] Too late!
- Judge Westreich: You know, Haley, there are a lot of great people who have jerks for parents, we gotta stick together.
- [Winks]
- Burt Vickerman: I haven't had four girls qualify for Championships in a long time.
- Haley Graham: Define long.
- Burt Vickerman: Actually, I haven't had four girls qualify... ever.
- Haley Graham: Are you gonna cry?
- Burt Vickerman: No, I'm not gonna cry! It's just, it's, it's, it's a nice thing. It's beautiful. Jesus, Hay.
- [walks away]
- Haley Graham: [Walking after him] What? You can cry. It doesn't make you any less of a man, Vicky! Come on, I won't tell the parents!
- Haley Graham: [in response to Vickerman's gold-medal promises to several parents] Yeah, um, you've got a lot of people going to the Olympics. Just curious, what country will they be representing? The state of delusion?
- Joanne: [Three good-looking guys walk past them into the arms of some girls] What do they have that we don't have?
- Wei Wei Yong: Uh, lives.
- Mina Hoyt: Time?
- Haley Graham: [Shakes her head] Boobs.
- [Mina and Wei Wei look down at their chests]
- Haley Graham: [Mina and Wei Wei look at their chests]
- Haley Graham: [V.O] There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. God, I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me that we weren't crazy. That we weren't being stupid. Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back. No matter what."
- Haley Graham: [about the girls Burt picked for the Classics] They just get their spots handed to them? What about the rest of us?
- Joanne: I don't like what you're 'instimulating', Haley.
- Haley Graham: [Whispers to herself] 'Instimulating'?
- Joanne: I have totally earned my spot.
- Burt Vickerman: Girls.
- Joanne: I'm practically a Dalmatian.
- Haley Graham: Dalmatians are born with spots, they don't earn them. Which is exactly my point.
- Joanne: Dogs are people, too, Haley!
- Burt Vickerman: Very nice, Joanne! Touche!
- Joanne: Thank you!
- Poot: [to the girls] I'm Poot, and this is my hetero life mate, Frank. And we are here to be your hosts for this evening, because we are going out! *Ow*!
- [Girls cheer]
- Joanne: No, we aren't. We have work-outs to finish.
- Mina Hoyt: Who died and made you Nadia?
- Wei Wei Yong: Come on, Joanne, you know we wanna go.
- Joanne: We can't just leave. Championships are three weeks away. Our routines need to be perfect.
- Frank: Put some clothes on and get in the truck. We're going out!
- [Poot howls]
- Mina Hoyt: Come on!
- Wei Wei Yong: Yeah!
- [They run inside]
- Frank: Come on. Can you speak?
- [a beat]
- Frank: Can you do anything besides gymnastics?
- Joanne: [Joanne looks around at the other girls] Okay. Anything to get out of this 'tard. That's 'leotard' without the 'leo', in case you were wondering.
- Burt Vickerman: [after Haley's first scratch] Way to stick it. Next time you should stick out your tongue, too.
- Haley Graham: I would, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks.
- Burt Vickerman: [to Mina] Your bra was sticking out.
- [Yells to the crowd]
- Burt Vickerman: One tenth off, because her *bra was sticking out*!
- Mina Hoyt: [Spying on Haley practicing bars] Can you imagine making it all the way to Worlds and walking out? It's totally insane.
- Wei Wei Yong: I heard she was tanking her double pikes in warm-ups. I think she just choked.
- Haley Graham: I can hear you! and I'll kill you!
- [the girls slink behind a stack of mats]
- Mina Hoyt: We're warming up Yourchenkos.
- Haley Graham: Super. I'm going for a 'Butt-ahara'.
- Devon: You mean a Tsukahara?
- Haley Graham: No, I mean a 'Butt-ahara'.
- Haley Graham: [Making a phone with her hands] Mina, right?
- Mina Hoyt: [Makes the phone as well] Yeah, Mina.
- Joanne: Mina, put down the phone!
- Haley Graham: Can you tell Joanne that I'm gonna take over and do a *real* dismount?
- Mina Hoyt: Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She says she's gonna do a real dismount.
- Joanne: I heard her, thank you!
- Haley Graham: How about a double back?
- Burt Vickerman: You will not throw a double back without training it first, Haley!
- Haley Graham: Close your eyes.
- Burt Vickerman: Over my dead body.
- Haley Graham: A little CPR might do you good.
- Burt Vickerman: Haley!
- Tricia Skilken: What do you think, huh Wei Wei? Beat that.
- Wei Wei Yong: Oh, I'm so shaking things up!
- Haley Graham: I'm so jealous of Joanne that I've actually already memorized her preschool beam routine.
- Dorrie: Hey, easy. I choreographed that routine.
- Haley Graham: [Mocking her russian accent] Your secret is safe with me!
- Haley Graham: I heard you were strict about diet, but this is just rude.
- Burt Vickerman: Hey, you piss where I eat, you don't eat.
- Haley Graham: Oh, but you do? Does this mean you're eating my piss? Cause that's disgusting.
- Joanne: So is Frank your, like, boyfriend or something?
- Haley Graham: Like, no.
- Joanne: Is Poot?
- Haley Graham: No.
- Joanne: Why not?
- Haley Graham: Ew!
- Joanne: So they're, like, fair game?
- Poot: [Runs up and pushes Haley away] Hey, Stupid.
- [to Joanne]
- Poot: I prefer the term 'meat', please.
- Joanne: That was spastic.
- Poot: Thank you. May I accompany you to the jelly beans?
- Joanne: You may.
- Poot: After you, milady.
- Haley Graham: [V.O. She's running from the police] This isn't the first time I've made out with law enforcement. We've kinda had this ongoing flirtation. We've been on some dates. You know, broken up, got back together. But honestly, until now, I haven't been ready for anything steady.
- Officer Ferguson: [Over the speaker] You're pushing it, Haley.
- Haley Graham: But you know, people change. And I felt like maybe I was ready for a more serious courtship.
- [Scene changes to Haley in front of a judge]
- Haley Graham: Meet the court.
- Burt Vickerman: [Haley is walking out on another meet] Haley, don't do this again. Let's go back in there and finish this meet. Come on. Don't bail again! Finish this meet. Finish it for yourself.
- Haley Graham: For me? Yeah, you know, you said something about the fact that this was about me. You know, helping me, my freedom. You forgot to tell me about the part you were cashing in on it!
- Burt Vickerman: Haley, I meant everything I said. I never lied to you.
- Haley Graham: Everything you said was an insurance policy to get those fat checks from my father!
- Burt Vickerman: Haley, you're not leaving like this. You're gonna go back in there, finish this meet. Don't make this another Worlds! Don't do it, don't bail!
- Haley Graham: You don't know the first thing about Worlds.
- Burt Vickerman: All right, fine. I give up. You know, we gave it a shot. I'm gonna talk to your father. Maybe you should go back to Chris DeFrank's.
- Haley Graham: Chris DeFrank's? You want me to go back to DeFrank's?
- Burt Vickerman: Well, you don't listen to me. You know? Clearly you listened to him long enough for...
- Haley Graham: Yeah, long enough to hook up with my mom.
- [Whimpers]
- Haley Graham: Long enough for him to... rip my family apart.
- Burt Vickerman: Oh, hey. When did, when did you find this out?
- Haley Graham: Before floor... At Worlds.
- Burt Vickerman: Aw, Haley, I... I had no idea. I'm sorry.
- Haley Graham: You didn't owe it to me to be a decent coach. You owed it to me to be a decent human being.
- Haley Graham: If you think I'm getting back on the competition floor with some stupid, watered-down, cookie cutter routine, you are seriously senile!
- Burt Vickerman: Have you ever seen anyone blow a knee?
- Haley Graham: No.
- Burt Vickerman: You wanna keep it that way, or should we have an ambulance on call for you?
- Haley Graham: [Whispers] Call 'em up!
- Burt Vickerman: Go get changed, warm up and join vault rotation.
- Haley Graham: Uh, sorry. I accidentally burned all my leotards last year. Hope this is okay!
- Burt Vickerman: Why not an in house competition?
- Joanne: Because we no long need-o!
- Burt Vickerman: Let's get back to work, ladies. No killing Haley in her sleep!
- Joanne: [Yawns at Tricia's mind-numbing beam routine] Is this how you feel when you watch my routines?
- Haley Graham: Uh, yeah.
- Joanne: I am *so* sorry.
- Haley Graham: [Claps sarcastically as Joanne finishes her beam routine] Wow.
- Joanne: Deja jealous, Haley? Bring back memories? We trained together at DeFrank's for how long?
- Haley Graham: That would be... *too* long.
- Joanne: And he'd give you so much attention because... you sucked.
- Haley Graham: [laughs] Right. Yeah, I *sucked* my way to Worlds. Glad to see you haven't lost your love of accuracy, Joanne.
- Joanne: Well, at least I didn't make it all the way to Worlds and um,
- [Gags]
- Joanne: choke.
- Haley Graham: Here. Let me show you how, you little...
- [Starts choking Joanne]
- Burt Vickerman: Haley?
- [Haley misses her Gienger and falls]
- Burt Vickerman: Ouch.
- [Referring to Frank and Poot]
- Burt Vickerman: These yours?
- Poot: Juvie, huh? You call this juvie?
- Haley Graham: Okay, trust me, Poot. This is hard time, okay? He's crazy.
- Burt Vickerman: Joanne, I need you to lend Haley your team leo for the Classic.
- Joanne: Ew! Unsanitary!
- Burt Vickerman: [Lacey does a trick and falls, injuring her leg] Joanne, pack your bags. Lacey, I need you to lend Haley your leo for the Classic.
- Joanne: Yes!
- [Does a dance and falls on her face]
- Mina Hoyt: Oh, my god. I'm the new vault champ!
- Joanne: I know! And I loved not going! I mean, if we chose the winner on every event, we could actually control the results for once.
- Haley Graham: Oh my God, you're right! Since when are you brilliant?
- Joanne: I don't know. Since now?
- Haley Graham: [to Mina and Wei Wei] You're new. You can make a splash. Let it rip.
- Mina Hoyt: Let what rip?
- Haley Graham: Make the judges look! I'm not talking about putting a cute little smile on your face as if they're doing you a favor. Make them look! If you're gonna eat mat, you're gonna eat mat hard. Don't play it safe. You gotta throw your best tricks as hard as you can.
- Tim Daggett: This is where the sport loses fans. The system, the judging, it's too confusing. The crowd just saw a spectacular skill, they don't understand why a gymnast is not rewarded for it. That's wrong.
- Haley Graham: [Pulls Tricia aside] Tricia. I didn't mean to wreck your Worlds. Mine was disintegrating, and I wrote you a note apologizing. I don't know if you
- [Tricia walks away]
- Haley Graham: got it or not.
- Haley Graham: [after Nastia does an amazing skill on bars] I'm so glad we picked her! I'm so glad we picked her!
- Burt Vickerman: Picked her?
- Burt Vickerman: [Before her final floor performance] I just want you to know...
- Haley Graham: What?
- Burt Vickerman: That, uh... I'm so, uh...
- Haley Graham: Don't.
- Burt Vickerman: No, no, no, no, no. I'm so... proud to be your coach. Now don't you dare hold back. And floor it.
- Burt Vickerman: This is not the real world. This is my world. You don't have to like me or like it here, but you do have to respect it.
- [Ivan throws Haley on some mats]
- Haley Graham: Respect? Is this how you respect people? I mean, you throw 'em over a shoulder and violate their personal space?
- [thumbs up]