Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers (1991 Video Game)

Gary Owens: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : That was without a doubt, one of the finest examples of bunny snatching I've ever seen. The stress placed on the rope during the bunny snatching was too much. You cast the useless fibers aside.

• Narrator : We rejoin our friend and semi-hero Roger Wilco, as he rockets back toward his home planet Xenon, which he hasn't seen since Space Quest II. Having successfully rescued those two ingrates from Andromeda, he decides a pit stop on Magmetheus is in order.

  [Then a spaceship zooms by above the planet] 

  Narrator : During the decent to this cosmic canteen he is unaware of the interest that has been generated regarding his fate.

  [PLANET: MAGMETHEUS, SUBJECT: ROGER WILCO. Then the computer screen locks on the target with the result 142, 259. LOCATION CONFIRMED] 

  Sequel Police 1 : We have confirmation on his position master.

  Sludge Vohaul : Off to Magmetheus with you then. It is time for Wilco to meet the fate which I have crafted for him.

  Narrator : As our story begins, we find the Aluminum mallard parked outside a seedy spaceport bar.

  [the alien throws up, walks into his vomit and melts in it and dies. The scene changes with Roger Wilco who is seen at the table in the bar taking to aliens] 

  Narrator : We join Roger as he relates one of his greatly exaggerated tales of adventure. The aliens are only too happy to listen, as long as Roger is buying.

  Roger Wilco : See there is this deadly root monster, a ferocious swamp creature, and a lady on Terra be-sick lick, then I had to outsmart another Vohauls gorillas and steal the shuttle so I could penetrate the asteroid...

  [the Sequel Police interrupts his conversation] 

  Sequel Police 1 : Are you Roger Wilco?

  Roger Wilco : Uh... yeah.

  Sequel Police 1 : Please come with me.

  [Roger walks outside the bar with 2 of the Sequel Police. Then a hologram device turns on and Sludge Vohauls head appears] 

  Sludge Vohaul : Hello Roger Wilco. Surprised to see an old friend? You have no idea how special this moment is for me. This is no chance encounter I can assure you. I have this one loose end to tie up before I begin my reign as the supreme being of all that exists. I do not like to lose, you were a blemish on what would otherwise be a perfect record of domination of terror and disability. Besides, I'm still a bit miffed about that asteroid view in Space Quest II.

  Sludge Vohaul : Anyway, to relieve the pain of my humiliation and prevent you from being a pain in my... future, you must die. It's been nice seeing you one last time. Then do the dire tee.

  [the hologram projector on the handheld device turns off. Then one of the guards jumps on the Sequel Police and his buddy jumps down] 

  Roger Wilco, Jr. : You go left and split them up! Mr. Wilco, follow me and do exactly what I say! Let's move!

  [Roger Wilco and the 2 guards runs away into the alley. The 2 Sequel Police stands back up] 

  Roger Wilco : Hey! I wanna know what the...?

  Roger Wilco, Jr. : Listen, I can't explain it all to you now. They've got a beam on our coordinates we've got to move fast We gotta do this fast. Shield your eyes!

  [Then the laser blasters fire at them and the guard fires open a time portal] 

  Roger Wilco, Jr. : Jump into the time rift! Do it now! You've got to! I can't take to time to explain or we're both parking lot pizza. You'll understand soon.

  [Roger jumps into the time portal and falls through the time tunnel] 

• Narrator : [a spaceship flies over the ruined city. After Roger exits the time portal and lands on the ground in Space Quest XII]  Now where am I? You wonder aloud to non-existent auditory organs. This place sure looks homely, Hey wait this looks just like Xenon! It is Xenon! It's, it's, it's really a pile. Along with the changes induced by an armed conflict, the city looks different more modern, with a heavy dash of post disaster seasoning. Casually glancing at the status line, you happen to notice that you're in Space Quest XII.

  Narrator : What's happened? Who was that guy with the over developed hairdryer? Why did you let yourself be talked into jumping into some strange shimmering hole? Why are you talking to yourself? These incredibly intriguing questions will quickly be forgotten, with barley an electron stirred in that well armored ore in that top of your shoulders.

• Narrator : A darn cute bunny.

• Narrator : Don't mess with it!

• Narrator : [If you click the buckazoid on the bottom left screen of the sewer lab. A slideshow will start]  Neil's European Vacation. Hey, that looks like Vienna's Parliament! Not many people get a chance to see this before they die.

  Narrator : The stone structure vaguely reminds you of photos from Munich, where you've heard tales of beauty and mystery. Most people will never see such things before they die.

  Narrator : Isn't that Neil in Lucerne, Switzerland? What a good-looking guy. Most people will unfortunately never get to know Neil before they die. Man, that was intense. Neil's Tip #37: Do things before you die.

  [the slideshow ends and the credits show up] 

  Narrator : Credits: David & Russ for the ride to SF. Mom & Dad for the plane ticket. Patrick & his family for a place to stay. Special Thanks to the Dutch coffee shops, the Swiss Posse, and the European women. Aboriginies: Ceci, Gina, Laura, Melissa, Durwood, Shock-Lee, Dave, Ken, That new guy Ron, and... what the hell... Amy. Animal Wrangler: Chanin. To my brothers on a mission with no permission... an inspirational name drop to Public Enemy: Chuck, Flav, & X. Nothin' fake, just that raw, hardcore shit. Other thanks randomly: Max, Beastie Boys, Carver man, Cube, Cypress Hill, Scott the No Sellout Guy from Andromeda Murphy, and atheists everywhere.