Squidbillies (2005–2021)

Mary Kraft: Krystal, Mom - Live Action Commercial, TV Stand-up Comedian

Quotes 

• Krystal : How is your daddy?

  Rusty : Oh, he's good, he's good. Just got out of prison not too long ago.

  Krystal : No I'm sorry, "Who". I mean who's your daddy?

  Rusty : Uh, Early Cuyler.

  Krystal : Tall guy?

  Rusty : No.

  Krystal : Big belly?

  Rusty : No.

  Krystal : Red hair?

  Rusty : Not the one.

  Krystal : Kinda looks like Charlie Sheen?

  Rusty : Not him neither.

  Krystal : Or is Charlie Sheen?

  Rusty : No, not Charlie Sheen.

  Krystal : Is he a football team?

  Rusty : Nope.

  Krystal : Is he the groundskeeping crew for the football team?

  Rusty : No.

  Krystal : Are you sure it's not Charlie Sheen?

  Rusty : No Mama!

• [Rusty and Krystal are looking at pictures] 

  Krystal : Well, then there's one of me. Here's one of them what you call 'em Glamour Shots what have you. Whaddaya know, there's me. No, that's a bus.