Man of the Year (2006)

Christopher Walken: Jack Menken

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Menken : It's like the comic who gets to play Carnegie Hall but shows up and plays the violin. It's not what they go to see.

  Tom Dobbs : How many analogies do you have left?

  Jack Menken : How many does it take to make my point?

• Jack Menken : You're in love with her. She can tell you Gandhi ate hot dogs and you'd believe her.

• Jack Menken : Everyone's going to be writing about how honest you are and how straightforward you are. I just hope your honesty doesn't undercut your irreverence.

  Tom Dobbs : Well I want to do a show about gay farmers and call it "Crop Suckers", is that offensive?

  Jack Menken : Not for me.

• Jack Menken : Look at it this way - who would you rather have dinner with, Richard Pryor in his prime, or Kofi Annan, the head of the UN? Tell me which dinner is going to be more interesting.

  Tom Dobbs : If there's no candles, Richard. But, I'd like to be with Kofi just to say, "Coffee, Kofi?" "What?" "Coffee, Kofi?" "Kofi, coffee?"

• Jack Menken : Politicians today look like they're borrowed from the wax museum: they're already in their suits, waiting to be buried. You don't wanna be like them; you wanna be different.

• Jack Menken : [in the hospital with Dobbs as the latter is winning the Presidential election]  This is the happiest night of my life, and I can't stay awake. Go figure.

• Jack Menken : The internet was on fire. Over eight million emails. It was a grass-roots movement fueled by the power of the internet and the cult of personality.

• Jack Menken : I don't care what you say, but say it with some humor. These crowds expect it. You give speech after speech, nothing's funny!

  Tom Dobbs : They'll get funny when I'm back on the show after the hiatus.

  Jack Menken : It's too dry!

  Tom Dobbs : Oh, come on, I came on the campaign to talk about issues.

  Jack Menken : There's no pop, zing. There's no oomph.

  Tom Dobbs : Remember the motto "It's no joke?" It's no joke!

• Jack Menken : You're a comedian who talks about politics. So when you talk about politics without the comedy, it's like wanting to get laid and forgetting to bring along the woman. You'll quickly discover something is missing.

• Jack Menken : More and more people are watching your show, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher for news. News from comedians. How crazy is that?

• Moderator : My name is Faith Daniels and I'll be the moderator for tonight's 90-minute debate which is coming...

  Jack Menken : [watching from the wings]  Cute.

  Eddie Langston : Cleavage. Is that legal?

  Jack Menken : Very cute.

• Jack Menken : Who gives a shit what talking heads think? Different is good. When I first saw you, I liked you because you were different, new. You talked too fast - couldn't understand you half the time - but you were fresh. These politicians today look like they're borrowed from a wax museum. They're already in their suits, waiting to be buried. You wanna be like them?

• Jack Menken : "If" - is becoming a very large word.

• Tom Dobbs : It's kind of improbable, me winning the election.

  Jack Menken : Well, Mark Twain once wrote, "The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible." We are, my friend, in uncharted waters.

• Tom Dobbs : What do I do?

  Jack Menken : Go be Presidential.

• Tom Dobbs : Saturday Night Live wants you for "Weekend Update". What do you think? ...

  Jack Menken : Did I hear "Saturday Night Live"?

  Tom Dobbs : Yeah.

  Jack Menken : Do it.

  Tom Dobbs : Why?

  Eddie Langston : Because it's a great opportunity. You can talk about how you were blinded by love, you didn't know she was secretly poppin' pills. It isn't like you were in some side street gettin' head like, uh, Hugh, uh, whatshisname.

  Tom Dobbs : You're so sensitive.