Queer Duck: The Movie (2006 Video)

Jim J. Bullock: Adam Seymour 'Queer Duck' Duckstein

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Queer Duck : Oh, hush yourself! Bitch!

• Queer Duck : Well, if you're mixing drinks, I'd like a slow comfortable screw up against the wall of a bus station in Passaic, New Jersey.

  Queer Duck : It's just rum.

• Queer Duck : [tied to a beam]  You know, for a heterosexual, you tie really good knots.

  Reverend Vandergelding : [flattered]  aww, you!

• Queer Duck : We have an awful future ahead of us.

  Openly Gator : What are you saying? Have you met someone else?

  Queer Duck : No! No, no, no, no, no!

  Lola Buzzard : [suddenly grabs him and pulls his head to her chest]  Darling!

  Queer Duck : Well, kind of.

• Reverend Vandergelding : [after forcing Queer Duck to drink a potion that will turn him straight]  Could it be? What do you think of Cameron Diaz?

  Queer Duck : [in a masculine voice]  She's hot.

  Reverend Vandergelding : Camryn Manheim?

  Queer Duck : She's hot.

  Reverend Vandergelding : Sister Wendy?

  [shows a picture of an ugly old nun] 

  Queer Duck : [scratches his chin]  I'd do her.

  Reverend Vandergelding : SUCCESS!

• Reverend Vandergelding : So, how did you finally tell them you were gay?

  Queer Duck : Oh, well, that's an interesting story. It all goes back to those crazy, turbulent, fabulous seventies...

  [music starts] 

  Reverend Vandergelding : Wait a minute...

  [music stops] 

  Reverend Vandergelding : Is this going to be a musical number? I'm mean, what is it with you people and musical numbers?

  Queer Duck : Just sit back and enjoy it!

• Lola Buzzard : [after getting a Jellyfish off her]  What do you think of my new look?

  Queer Duck : You look like The Joker.

  Lola Buzzard : I was going for it. Quick, say something to make me frown again.

  Queer Duck : Bush is running for a third term.

  Lola Buzzard : Christ! The country's ruined.

• Openly Gator : You can't change who you are!

  Queer Duck : Well, sometimes I wish I could. Don't you?

  Openly Gator : No. I am a gay man, like my father and his father before him. Now get some sleep.

• Queer Duck : [while being forced to drink a potion]  No, stop! Tastes like Snapple! God, I wish I had my gag reflex back!

• Queer Duck : [in a dream sequence about when they're old and still together]  Openly Gator. Where the hell is my dinner?

  Openly Gator : Oh, here!

  Queer Duck : [screams when he sees a dead rat on the plate]  Why do we keep ordering from that Thai place?