Serious Sam II (2005 Video Game)

John J. Dick: Serious Sam

Quotes 

• Serious Sam : Double the gun, double the fun!

• Serious Sam : I eat resistance for breakfast!

• Serious Sam : [repeated 2 times]  I knew it,I knew IT!

• Serious Sam : [after picking up a cannon]  Wohoo! Let's go BOWLING!

• Netrisca : It's me, Nettie!

  Serious Sam : Nettie?

  Netrisca : Netrisca! Well, Nettie to my friends

  Serious Sam : Nettie -- you can talk!

• Serious Sam : Wilmaaaaaa!

• Serious Sam : I've gotta have a serious talk with Croteam, one of these days.

• Serious Sam : You have exactly 5 seconds to explain what I'm doing here, and 2 seconds have just passed.

• Serious Sam : Well, I'm here now. We'll settle this once and for all.

• Serious Sam : Yes Sir... er... Ma'am!

• Serious Sam : Five million Kleer Drahmas? IT'S A Ripoff! I think I have to have a little chat with the clerk...

  [approaches the Gnaar in the tollbooth] 

  Serious Sam : Look, I don't have that kind of money...

  Gnaar : Then, you can go back.

  Driver 1 : [honks car horn]  Come on!

  Serious Sam : But, I have to save the Universe from Mental!

  Driver 2 : [honks car horn]  Hurry up, man!

  Serious Sam : [to Driver 2]  Yeah, just a second!

  Gnaar : Sorry. No can do.

  Serious Sam : I REALLY don't have time for this, so --

  [pulls out two handguns and points them at the Gnaar] 

  Serious Sam : Raise the gate and hand over the cash, bitch!

  [the terrified Gnaar raises the gate; Sam passes through] 

  Serious Sam : Hehehe -- that felt Good.

• Netrisca : Ugh -- even the royal poo stinks! Get us out of here!

  Serious Sam : I KNEW it! There ain't NO game without a sewer level!

• "Jon" : [on a payphone]  Hello?

  Serious Sam : Blondie!

  [Meaning Duke Nukem] 

  Serious Sam : Is that you?

  "Jon" : No, it's Jon.

  Serious Sam : Oh. When will he come?

  "Jon" : He will come when he is done, boy.

  Serious Sam : Done with WHAT? Bah -- I've been waiting FOREVER for him to show up.

  [hangs up the phone]