Stardust (2007)
Ricky Gervais: Ferdy the Fence
Photos
Quotes
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[Shakespeare and his men are selling collected lightning bolts to Ferdy, their fence]
Captain Shakespeare : So! Name your best price.
Ferdy the Fence : For 10,000 bolts?
Captain Shakespeare : 10,000 bolts of finest quality Grade A.
Ferdy the Fence : Yeah, but it's difficult to shift, isn't it? Difficult to store. If I get the revenue man in here sniffing around. Uhmmm... Best price: 150 Guineas.
Captain Shakespeare : [to his crew] Gentlemen, put the merchandise back on board and prepare to sail.
Ferdy the Fence : Whoa, whoa! Hold on. Hold on. One minute, Cuddles. 160? 160.
Captain Shakespeare : Seeing as I'm feeling particularly generous today, I'll settle for 200.
Ferdy the Fence : 200? Okay, you're having a laugh.
[Ferdy laughs]
Ferdy the Fence : Have you had your head in that? Has he been staying up where the air's too thin?
Captain Shakespeare : [darkly] You're being very rude.
Ferdy the Fence : Not any more.
Captain Shakespeare : 200.
Ferdy the Fence : 180.
Captain Shakespeare : 200.
Ferdy the Fence : That's not negotiation! I'm changing my number! 185.
Captain Shakespeare : Did I hear 200?
Ferdy the Fence : From you, you did. Yeah.
Captain Shakespeare : You said 200?
Ferdy the Fence : If I did, you're a ventriloquist. Okay, 195. Final offer.
Captain Shakespeare : 195 it is.
[they shake hands to seal the deal]
Captain Shakespeare : So, with sales tax, that's... let's see... 200.
Ferdy the Fence : [resignedly] Brilliant. Put it in the back.
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Lamia : You'd better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog.
Ferdy the Fence : I can get you one of them, actually. Very good guard dogs. They can watch the back and the front door at the same time.