'Allo 'Allo! (TV Series)

Gruber Does Some Mincing (1986)

Gorden Kaye: René Artois

Photos 

Quotes 

• Col. Von Strom : René, these muscles, they're not good. Is your wife using a new spice?

  Capt. Hans Geering : such as hair tonic?

  René : they come from the usual harbor, dear Coronel. I think perhaps one of your submarines is leaking a little diesel oil, due to the fact that the RAF blew it up.

• Lt. Hubert Gruber : Herr Flick believes that you know the whereabouts of the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna...

  René : With the big...

  Lt. Hubert Gruber : Correct. He has given me the task of trying to ring this information out of you. If you do not cooperate, I have been ordered... I can not say it.

  René : Go one lieutenant, say it, what have you been ordered to do?

  Lt. Hubert Gruber : Drive my little tank from where it is parked, into your garden in the back.

  René : What is so terrible about that?

  Lt. Hubert Gruber : In a strait line, threw your café.

• René : Are you an artist?

  Lt. Hubert Gruber : Well, I have, leanings, you know.