- [Dick tries to blame Harry for them being trapped in a hole]
- Harry Solomon: Y'know, anytime anything goes wrong it's always my fault.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Finally, you admit it.
- Harry Solomon: That's not what I'm saying.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: You're saying you're tired, you're hungry, you're terrified of being down here, and you're waiting for me to lead you out. *Well, I'm doing my best.* You're just sitting there, happy as an idiot in Idiot Land on Idiots Get In Free Day.
- Harry Solomon: Ok, there's no such land, and I would know, so...
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [losing it] Harry, please! I need silence to think. Thank you.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [after falling into a hole] Boy, Harry, it's a long way up.
- Harry Solomon: Yeah, I was noticing that on the way down.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: One of us should stand on the other's shoulders. How much do you weigh?
- Harry Solomon: 130
- Dr. Dick Solomon: 130, huh? I weight 210.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: OK, give me a boost.
- Sally Solomon: I have a plan... I'm going to flood the hole with 3,000 gallons of water and then Dick and Harry will just float to the top.
- Officer Don: What if they don't float?
- Sally Solomon: Well, then they're witches.
- [while trapped in a hole, Harry finds some M&Ms in his pocket, and won't share with Dick]
- Harry Solomon: Y'know how I like to eat these? I like to suck 'em 'til the M comes off. Then I crack 'em open, eat the chocolate part first, save the shell for a light dessert.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [sounding desperate] I see what you're doing. You're trying to control me.
- Harry Solomon: Y'know, it's not just the green ones. They all make me horny.