ALF (TV Series)

On the Road Again (1986)

Mickey Jones: Artie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam : [Artie uncovers the cage to see Alf inside]  I know what that is. It's an ant-eater.

  Artie : Are you sure?

  Sam : Yeah, and it's against the law to shoot ant-eaters.

  [Alf crushes an ant on one of the cage's bars and eats it] 

  Artie : What are you talking about? You can shoot ant-eaters!

  [Alf immediately spits it out] 

  Artie : I don't care what he is. I'm gonna take him out and butcher him.

  [Alf gasps] 

  Sam : Why do you always get to do all the butchering?

  Artie : Because YOU usually end up mutilating all the good meat! I'll get the chainsaw, you make the salad.