Absolutely Fabulous (TV Series)

Death (1994)

Julia Sawalha: Saffron

Quotes 

• Eddie : God, it's a rather depressing thought that you might live on after me, isn't it? You, huh. That's how I'm going to be remembered, is it? What, through you?

  Saffie : Well what do you want, a statue?

  Eddie : YES.

  Saffie : A great big, fat, ugly, armless statue?

  Eddie : [pause]  I've got arms. I've got arms. I just want to bequeath something to the nation, that's all, not just you.

• Eddie : Family? Family? God, I hope you're not inviting that bloody, bollocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken, bastard, pig-dog man have you?

  Saffie : You could just say Dad! I'd still know what you meant.

• [Eddie is in a body wrap] 

  Saffie : Mom, can you come downstairs please?

  Eddie : Sweetie, have you seen what your talking to? Tutankamun.

  Saffie : Mom, it's important. I've got some bad news.

  Eddie : Darling, I can't move for an hour, I'm being shrunk and then I've got to go pick Patsy up from the hospital.

  [Saffie sighs in annoyance] 

  Eddie : Well don't "tu-tuhhh." You think she wanted to get her stomach pumped again? No! She thought they were her antibiotics, darling.

• [first lines] 

  Patsy : Do you want some ecstasy Eddy?

  Eddie : Are you mad, darling? Nobody's taking that any more. People have been dragged from raves bleeding from every orifice.

  Patsy : This isn't a rave. It's a "happening".

  Eddie : Don't force to take it, Pats. I promised Saffy I wouldn't, darling.

  Patsy : She'll never find out. She didn't scare me.

  Saffie : Mum! Keep the noise down.

• Eddie : Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone.

  Saffie : That's lovely.

  Eddie : I hear you call my name and it feels like home.

  Saffie : Who said that?

  Eddie : It's Madonna darling.

• Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : Edwina dear, your father is dead.

  Saffie : Well done.

  Eddie : "Well done"? Did she finish him off or something?

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : That was it, wasn't it, dear? I'm not going mad, am I?

  Saffie : Grandad has died! Is that all you can do? All you can say? Don't you think Gran needs a little bit more?

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : Oh, don't drag me into it, dear. She's doing her best, I'm sure. Now don't you get yourself into a state.

  Saffie : Your father is dead! What does that make you feel, mum?

  [Edina is smiling] 

  Saffie : ... And you can stop smirking!

• Eddie : No, no grave for me, darling. I'm a Buddhist anyway. I want to be laid down on a rock in the middle of the Ganges darling, and just be pecked by birds. I don't want to end up as some drugged-up zombie in a hospital, alright?

  Saffie : I thought that would appear to you.

  Eddie : I want to die with a bit of dignity, you know. I don't want the last words I hear to be "switch her off'.

• Patsy : Eddie tells me that Mr. M... you know... dead.

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : That's right.

  Patsy : Well, I um... condole you.

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : Thank you dear.

  Patsy : He chose the right season to go.

  Saffie : What do you mean?

  Patsy : Well Harvey Nicks have got some really tasty little black numbers at the moment. And black is like "in". You wouldn't have to wear it only the once. It's my job to know these things.

• Saffie : So Marshall, how's the script coming?

  Eddie : Oh no, do we have to know?

  Marshall : Well it's at a real interesting stage.

  Sondra Lorrance : You're doing just fine.

  Marshall : We had Keanu Reeves pull out, which, which we feel really positive about now because it's taken a different course entirely. And, and a Japanese company has taken up the option to do it in animation form.

  Sondra Lorrance : Pat yourself on the back for that.

  Eddie : A cartoon...?

  Patsy : A cartoon!

  Marshall : Animation!

  Eddie : A cartoon!

• Eddie : I don't want to die! I don't wan to die!

  Saffie : Oh, dear!