Absolutely Fabulous (TV Series)

Hospital (1994)

June Whitfield: Mother

Quotes 

• Patsy : [Patsy's affair with an MP has become front page news on all of the papers]  Oh well, heigh ho, Eddy.

  [pours some champagne into a glass] 

  Patsy : I mean, you know, let them write what they want . . .

  [starts to read another feature] 

  Patsy : Continued on page five. I mean, I shall just rise above it. I shan't let this thing affect me in . . . bastard! No! No! No!

  Eddie : Who, who? Where, where? What, quick, what? Show, show, show!

  [Patsy hands Eddy the newspaper, Edina reads aloud] 

  Eddie : Source is . . .

  Patsy : No, no, no - further.

  Eddie : Pasty is . . . uh?

  Patsy : Yes?

  Eddie : Aged forty-seven!

  Patsy : Aagh! I'll sue!

  Saffie : [to Edina]  Well, how old is she?

  [Edina shrugs.] 

  Patsy : I'm thirty-nine.

  Saffie : And I'm an ovum.

  Patsy : [tears up newspaper]  Oh . . . it's just not fair.

  Gran : [Gran enters reading the newspaper headlines]  Another pig-ugly MP making a fool of himself with some scrawny old hooker, I see.

  Patsy : Old? Old! Old, old, old!

  Gran : Nothing like a good old sex scandal. Bit more exciting than the ones in my day.

  Eddie : God, what was it in your day? "Woman Shows Ankle To Chimney-Sweep Shock"?