- [first lines]
- Shirley Holmes: Roll over. Please roll over. Roll over. Roll over. Please roll over. Come on. Come on. Roll over.
- [Shirley gives Watson, her basset hound, a treat, which he promptly eats and then ignores her]
- Shirley Holmes: Cheater.
- [the police inspector spots Shirley at the scene of the break-in]
- Inspector Marquee: Haven't I seen you before?
- Shirley Holmes: No. I have that kind of face.
- Pete: Look, kid, I got a few things on my mind, like being robbed by a whacko.
- Shirley Holmes: Whacko?
- Pete: Who takes two angel fish, one from the male tank and one from the female? Who takes 14 canaries and then leaves the rest?
- Pete: For 15 years I've been straight as an arrow and then Mr. More-Money-Than-Brains walks in. I tried to talk him into an iguana or maybe a little savannah. No, no, he had to have it! He had to have a komodo dragon.
- [Bo and Shirley have once again failed to successfully follow Olivia]
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Man, she's like the White Rabbit - always disappearing.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: You know my theory? I think those pigeons found out there's a better place to live then behind chicken wire.
- [reading a Bible verse Abe has tacked to his wall]
- Shirley Holmes: "Of fowls of the air by sevens - the male and the female." That's why he's been taking 14 birds!
- Shirley Holmes: Your code names - they're anagrams, aren't they?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Anagrams?
- Shirley Holmes: If you jumble the letters, Olivia Mansel is I Love Animals. Emmet Darrius is...
- Jarrod: Meat Is Murder.
- Shirley Holmes: And Ian Holn is I Am Noah.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: This guy thinks he's Noah?
- Shirley Holmes: And he's turning one of those boats into an ark.
- Jarrod: Why does he need Amy?
- Shirley Holmes: Two by two, Emmet. Everyone on the Ark needs a mate.
- [Shirley, Bo and Jarrod climb onto the deck of Abe's ark and discover the boat is overrun by rabbits]
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Hey, do you think Noah ever had this problem?
- Olivia: Thanks. You guys deserve veggie brugers for a month.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Thanks, but *we* like to keep a low profile.
- [Shirley demonstrates to her dog the proper technique of rolling over]
- Shirley Holmes: You can do it. I know you can. See, Watson, it's that simple. He just doesn't get it.
- Peggy Holmes: On the contrary, I think he knows exactly what you're saying to him.
- Shirley Holmes: Then why won't he do it?
- Peggy Holmes: My dear, if someone told you to roll over or play dead... would you do it?
- [last lines]
- [writing to her mother]
- Shirley Holmes: I don't think Watson would do well as one of Abe's liberated beasts. Where would he go and who would wash his ears? Abe's fever is down and he doesn't think he's Noah anymore. The doctor says he has an illness called depression. Amy says Abe will always follow his own special path, but he needs some taking care of... kind of like Watson.