Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

The Indestructible Mr. Weems (1957)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [In his suit, Hitchcock is lying down on a bed]  Good evening. Since you're allowed to make yourselves comfortable during our show, I thought it only right that I be allowed to relax. After all, the rules of television seem weighed far too much in favor of the viewer. You can relax in your home, while I must stay here in this drafty studio. I'm not feeling a bit well. But the show must go on, whether you like it or not. And tonight's show is called "The Indestructible Mr. Weems."

• [afterword] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : There. I think that proves that we can be as sunshiny as anyone. Clarence and the widow Collins lived happily ever after. And in desperation, the trustees finally converted their park into a track for dog racing. It proved more popular than a cemetery, and rather profitable, too.

  [walks over to a coffin] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : One of the consolations of being ill is the gifts one receives. One of my dear friends sent me this. Solid oak. Silver handles, too. Apparently, the donor wishes to remain anonymous. The card is unsigned.

  [holds up the card; it reads "Wear it in good health"] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Very nice. But I better not overtax myself. Until our next visiting hours, then.

  [lies down and holds up a sign that says, "Do Not Disturb"]