All in the Family (TV Series)

Archie and the Editorial (1972)

Jean Stapleton: Edith Bunker

Quotes 

• [Archie is delivering en editorial on a local TV station] 

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  Good evening, everybody. This here is Archie Bunker of 704 Hauser Street, veteran of the big war, speaking on behalf of guns for everybody. Now, question: what was the first thing that the Communists done when they took over Russia? Answer: gun control. And there's a lot of people in this country want to do the same thing to us here in a kind of conspiracy, see. You take your big international bankers, they want to - whaddya call - masticate the people of this here nation like puppets on the wing, and then when they get their guns, turn us over to the Commies.

  Edith Bunker : Oh, Archie, I'm glad they put you on a stool, you look taller sitting down.

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  Now I want to talk about another thing that's on everybody's minds today, and that's your stick-ups and your skyjackings, and which, if that were up to me, I could end the skyjackings tomorrow.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : You could?

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  All you gotta do is arm all your passengers. He ain't got no more moral superiority there, and he ain't gonna dare to pull out no rod. And then your airlines, they wouldn't have to search the passengers on the ground no more, they just pass out the pistols at the beginning of the trip, and they just pick them up at the end! Case closed.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : That's incredible, Arch.

• [Archie and Mike are arguing about gun control] 

  Archie Bunker : All I know is, I'm an American and it's my right to pack a rod!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Bull!

  Archie Bunker : Whaddya mean, bull to the constitution?

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : It doesn't say that in the constitution, Arch, I'll prove it to you! I got a copy in my history book!

  Archie Bunker : Look it up! It's right there in your Second Amendment!

  Edith Bunker : Oh, no, Archie, that's the one that says "thou shalt not make any graven image."

  Archie Bunker : That ain't the Constitution Edith. What you says is the Gettysburg Address.