- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Nature's been good to you. I mean real, real, *real* good! I - I can't remember when I've seen nature spend as much time on any one person.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: It won't take her long to find out there's no work for her. I'll give her twenty-four hours. But while she's here she sure is pretty to look at, ain't she? Yeah? Kinda like a calendar come to life.
- [Andy has gotten a manicure from Ellen Brown and turns to Barney]
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You're next.
- Barney Fife: What?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: [planting Barney on the chair] You just plant yourself down there.
- Barney Fife: [standing up] But, Andy!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You'll enjoy it!
- [a nervous Barney is getting a manicure. Ellen, the manicurist, is being very patient with him]
- Ellen Brown: [Barney pulls his hand away] I won't hurt you! Honest!
- [Ellen swipes with her nail file. Barney reacts and backs away, clutching his right fingers]
- Barney Fife: [scared] Ah-hah!
- Ellen Brown: [concerned] What's the matter?
- Barney Fife: [sick with fear] Makes my skin crawl.
- Ellen Brown: I'll be very careful.
- Barney Fife: [lifts his right index finger] Be extra careful with that one. That's my trigger finger. Damage that and I might as well quit the business!