- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Anybody here know why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. I now pronounce you man...
- Opie Taylor: I know why they shouldn't be married.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Opie, what're you tryin' to do?
- Opie Taylor: I'm speakin' now so's I won't have to forever hold my peace.
- Deputy Barney Fife: You're not supposed to speak.
- Opie Taylor: Then why did he ask?
- Opie Taylor: Can I run away from home?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Uh... you... you want to run away from home? Well, now, uh, if-if-if that's what you got on your mind, well, you-you goin' about it all wrong.
- Opie Taylor: I am?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, yeah. You ain't supposed to ask your pa.
- Opie Taylor: But you always said I should never go anyplace far without gettin' your permission.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, yeah, I know I did say that, but, uh, see-see, running away from home is a little special. See, what you do in a case like that is first you write a note SAYIN' that you're runnin' away, and then you do it.
- Opie Taylor: You mean to tell me that's all there is to it?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: That's all.
- Opie Taylor: But I don't know how to write.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: That does make a problem.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now Opie, I'm your Pa and I'm tellin' you to hush up.
- Opie Taylor: Well you told me I could speak or forever hold my peace.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well now I'm tellin' you if you don't hush up, you'll be forever holdin' the seat of your britches.
- Rose: Opie, dear, I'm marryin' Mr. Pine because I love him.
- Opie Taylor: I thought you loved ME.
- Rose: I do, Opie.
- Opie Taylor: You don't catch me marryin' somebody else.
- Rose: And in the mornin', I want you to eat all your cereal and don't leave half the milk.
- Opie Taylor: Okay. I won't leave half the milk.
- Rose: Good boy.
- Opie Taylor: I'll leave ALL the milk.
- Opie Taylor: I want you to stay!
- Aunt Bee Taylor: You do?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You mean it, Opie?
- Opie Taylor: Sure!
- Aunt Bee Taylor: Well, what changed your mind?
- Opie Taylor: Well, if she goes, what'll happen to her? She doesn't know how to do anything - play ball, catch fish, or hunt frogs. She'll be helpless.
- Deputy Barney Fife: Aw, shucks, Andy. I want to do good on this job. Even if it's just deliverin' messages, I wanna do it right.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I know you do, and-and-and I admire your attitude.
- Deputy Barney Fife: You see, Andy, I want the folks in this town to realize that you picked me to be your deputy because you, well, you looked over all the candidates for the job, and-and you judged their qualifications and their character and their ability, and you come to the fair, the just, and the honest conclusion that I was the best-suited for the job. An... and I wanna thank you, Cousin Andy.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You're welcome, Cousin Barney.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: [after Opie makes an insulting comment about newly-arrived Aunt Bee's fried chicken, and Aunt Bee leaves the room] And to think I was glad when you learned to talk.