- [Michael and Gob watch the Saddam Hussein trial on television]
- Saddam Hussein: I am not real Saddam. The real Saddam Hussein has a scar on his forehead. I am no scar. I am no scar. Dot com.
- Michael: And you finished off the whole bottle?
- Lindsay Funke: I had to, it's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.
- Michael: I think that's another of mom's fibs, like "I'll sacrifice anything for my children".
- Tobias Fünke: And I am off to buy the perfect present for Maebe. Maybe she'd like a suit like this.
- Narrator: That is her suit.
- Tobias Fünke: They probably don't make it in a woman's.
- Narrator: They only make it in a woman's.
- Iraqi Cab Driver: Sorry it took so long but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Drive.
- Adelaide: Oh Adelaide how could you do this again?
- Narrator: It wasnt' the first time.
- Adelaide: [flashback] Faker!
- [she slaps the coma victim]
- Adelaide: [flashback] Faker!
- [she slaps the coma victim]
- Adelaide: Oh Gary, if you love me, you'll take that first step.
- [he does, she slaps him and he falls to the floor]
- Adelaide: Faker!
- Narrator: She was wrong on that one. It really was love that made Gary take that first step.