- Michael: Your Uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
- George Michael: No. No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.
- Michael: Yeah, that makes sense.
- [Michael wants to teach his son a lesson like the ones his father used to teach him]
- Michael Bluth: I need the guy with the fake arm, J. Walter Weatherman.
- George Bluth, Sr.: Oh, he's dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioning on.
- Michael: [about George Michael's test] A-?
- George Michael: Are you proud of me?
- Michael: Very proud... minus.
- Michael: [after strippers dressed as cops have taken off their uniforms] You knew all along, didn't you?
- George Michael: Sorta. One of the hot cops was my choir teacher.
- George Michael: [Arguing with his math book] Dumb, dumb George Michael, dumb...
- Michael: Hey, calm down there, you two; it's just a math problem.
- George Michael: Yeah, but if I fail math then there goes my chances to get a good job and have a happy life full of hard work, like you always say, right Dad?