- Jed Clampett: I know how much you and Mr. Jenkins and these folks enjoy livin' in the castle, so here's a little something for you.
- [Jed Hands Mr. Faversham a check]
- John Faversham: Thank you very much indeed, sir. On behalf of us all... ten million dollars?
- Jed Clampett: Well that's what Mr. Drysdale says was owed on the place.
- Milburn Drysdale: Mr. Drysdale knows about this?
- Jed Clampett: Them stains on there is his tears.
- Milburn Drysdale: Goodbye old friend.
- John Faversham: Goodbye, sir.
- Milburn Drysdale: Not you, the check.
- Daisy Moses: If we had stayed in England and feuded with that next castle, like we were honor-bound to do, Elly May and Jethro wouldn't be out there in the woods, cold and hungry... and probably being et by the wolves.
- Jed Clampett: If Jethro's hungry, you'd better worry about the wolves.
- Buddy: Tell me something, old timer. Do you smoke crawdads?
- Jed Clampett: I have.
- Buddy: How about you?
- Jane Hathaway: No, not I.
- Buddy: I'm glad you're driving.