Blackadder the Third (TV Series)

Ink and Incapability (1987)

Robbie Coltrane: Dr. Samuel Johnson, noted for his fat dictionary

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Quotes 

• Dr. Samuel Johnson : [places two manuscripts on the table, but picks up the top one]  Here it is, sir. The very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language.

  Blackadder : Every single one, sir?

  Dr. Samuel Johnson : Every single word, sir!

  Blackadder : Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson : What?

  Blackadder : "contrafibularities", sir? It is a common word down our way.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson : Damn!

  [writes in the book] 

  Blackadder : Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation.

• Samuel Johnson : Not only have you impecuniated my dictionary, you have also lost the chance to act as patron to the only book in the world that is even better!

  Blackadder : Oh. And what is that, sir? "Dictionary 2: The Return of the Killer Dictionary"?

• Prince George : Ah, Dr. Johnson, damn cold day!

  Dr. Samuel Johnson : Indeed it is sir - but a very fine one, for I celebrated last night the encyclopedic implementation of my pre-meditated orchestration of demotic Anglo-Saxon.

  Prince George : Nope - didn't catch any of that.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson : Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous since during the course of the penultimate solar sojourn, I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation of the vocabluary of our post-Norman tongue.

  Prince George : Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn saucy, you lucky thing! I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've never penultimated any of them in a solar sojourn, or for that matter, been given any Norman tongue.

  Blackadder : I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. It has apparently taken him ten years.

  Prince George : Well, I'm a slow reader myself.

• The Prince Regent, their master : Well, now look, Dr Johnson. I may be as thick as a whale omelette, but even I know a book's got to have a plot.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson, noted for his fat dictionary : Not this one, Sir. It is a book which tells you what English words mean.

  The Prince Regent, their master : I know what English words mean, I speak English. You must be a bit of a thicko.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson, noted for his fat dictionary : Perhaps you would rather not be patron of my book, if you can see no value in it whatsoever, Sir.

  The Prince Regent, their master : Well perhaps so, Sir, as it sounds to me as if my being patron of this complete cowpat of a book will set the seal once and for all on my reputation as an utter turnip-head.

  Dr. Samuel Johnson, noted for his fat dictionary : Oh, well it is a reputation well deserved, Sir. Farewell.