- Topanga Lawrence: If something's wrong, you can tell me. It's not like I don't care about you.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: [in Cory's head] You will kill the one girl who cares for you.
- Cory Matthews: Listen to me, you can't care for me, okay? If you do, only harm will come to you. It will never work out between the two of us!
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, get a grip. We're only going to a Halloween party.
- Cory Matthews: Yeah, that's how it starts! Then we get married, have kids, and I eat them!
- Cory Matthews: [writing a letter] So I hope that you will all forgive me, so that I now can escape my destiny. Fondly, Cory A.O. Matthews.
- Shawn Hunter: What does A.O. stand for?
- Cory Matthews: Ah-ooh.
- Cory Matthews: Look at me. Tell me what you see.
- Topanga Lawrence: I see you.
- Cory Matthews: No you don't. You see hair and teeth and the beast within me.
- Topanga Lawrence: No! I see Cory. The same Cory I've known since I was three.
- Cory Matthews: I'm not a wolf? I'm not a wolf! I'm not a wolf!
- [they kiss deeply]
- Topanga Lawrence: Yes, you are.
- Cory Matthews: AAAAH-OOOOH!
- Shawn Hunter: Hey, since you're becoming a werewolf, can I have your autographed Lenny Dykstra ball?
- Cory Matthews: Not my ball!
- Shawn Hunter: Cory, you don't need it. You're a wolf.
- Cory Matthews: I can still fetch.
- Cory Matthews: Eric, what you're about to see may shock you.
- Eric Matthews: Then put a towel on.
- Cory Matthews: Okay, look!
- [comes out with his arms thrown in the air, completely normal]
- Eric Matthews: Oh, my God! I don't see anything at all!
- George Feeny: Mr. Matthews. I wouldn't take out that garbage, if I were you.
- Cory Matthews: I had to. It was starting to move.
- George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, no running in the halls, we are not animals.
- Cory Matthews: AAA-OOOOOH!
- [keeps running]
- Cory Matthews: [holding a picture frame] Is this silver? Can I melt this down?
- Alan Matthews: Cory, do you know what hormones are?
- Cory Matthews: I bet I could get five, six bullets out of this.
- Alan Matthews: Do you know what raging hormones are?
- Cory Matthews: Yeah, it's one of those rides.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: Come to me, werewolf boy.
- Cory Matthews: How did you know?
- Madame Ouspenskaya: I know many things. I know you were bitten by a wolf.
- Cory Matthews: It's true.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: I know you are now becoming a wolf.
- Cory Matthews: That's amazing!
- Madame Ouspenskaya: I know you are recently divorced.
- Cory Matthews: What?
- Madame Ouspenskaya: You're not Billy Joel?
- Cory Matthews: No.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: Well, then you're just a wolf.
- Cory Matthews: Listen, I gotta tell somebody. Shawn, I am one of the undead creatures of the night!
- Shawn Hunter: Cory, you can't fool your best friend. Something's bothering you isn't it?
- George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I wouldn't be taking out that garbage if I were you.
- Cory Matthews: I had to. It was starting to move.
- George Feeny: Haven't you heard?
- Cory Matthews: I haven't heard anything. I live upstairs.
- George Feeny: Well, it seems that a wolf escaped from the Philadelphia Zoo. Authorities believe that it may well be somewhere in our area.
- Cory Matthews: A wolf? Out here in the 'burbs?
- George Feeny: Yes. Probably looking for better schools.
- Cory Matthews: So, how come you're taking your garbage back inside the house?
- George Feeny: Wolves have a keen sense of smell. The garbage would only attract them.
- Cory Matthews: So, your plan is to lure them into your living room?
- George Feeny: Scoff if you will, but as acting head of the neighborhood watch I have duly warned you.
- Shawn Hunter: There's no way you were bitten by a wolf.
- Cory Matthews: Shawn, what else could it have been? I mean, look at the bite.
- Shawn Hunter: I don't see anything.
- Cory Matthews: Of course you don't. Everybody knows werewolf bites heal overnight.
- Cory Matthews: Wow. Then you're covered with 'em.
- Cory Matthews: Any special flavors?
- Frank: Yeah, we got Bucket of Blood. That's like strawberry. We got Bucket of Guts. That's more or less chocolate. And we got Smashed and Severed Intestines. I don't recommend that
- Cory Matthews: Can you mix blood and guts?
- Frank: All the time.
- [He walks off to get Cory's yogurt]
- Radio Host: The search for the missing wolf continues and, with today being Halloween, police report a number of prank calls from people claiming to have seen wolves and even
- [chuckles]
- Radio Host: werewolves.
- Cory Matthews: Werewolves. Isn't that silly?
- [Frank stares at Cory solemnly]
- Cory Matthews: Isn't it?
- Frank: There are things and there are *things*
- Cory Matthews: You mean there are things such as werewolves?
- Frank: There are places where such things are revealed. For five dollars complete.
- [Cory gives Frank a wad of bills who lifts up the counter]
- Frank: Come with me werewolf boy.
- Cory Matthews: Madame Ouspenskaya, everything you predicted has come true.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: No kidding! Mind if I use you for a reference?
- Cory Matthews: Listen, I found out there *is* a girl who cares for me, just like you said.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: Well, have you killed her yet?
- Cory Matthews: No.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: Well, why not?
- Cory Matthews: I don't know.
- Cory Matthews: Topanga, I warned you not to...
- [He notices her costume]
- Cory Matthews: ... Oh, boy, why'd you have to wear that?
- Topanga Lawrence: Because I'm a damsel. But not the distressed kind. One who is very together and in complete control of her own destiny.
- Cory Matthews: Isn't there an antidote or something?
- Madame Ouspenskaya: That's easy. Wear a garlic necklace and get back in your coffin!
- Cory Matthews: No, I'm not a vampire. I'm a werewolf.
- Madame Ouspenskaya: Tomatoes, tamah-toes. As long as you're not my son.
- Cory Matthews: Mr. Fenny, you're putting your garbage back outside again. What about the wolf?
- George Feeny: Didn't you hear? He was in the zoo the whole time. They found him in the aviary, dining on a cockatoo.
- Cory Matthews: So he never really escaped at all?
- George Feeny: Funny how rumors start, isn't it?
- [Mr. Feeny picks up a soda can and shakes it]
- George Feeny: Drat. Well, good night, Mr. Matthews.
- [He walks away]
- Cory Matthews: Wait a minute. No wolf? Well, then, what was...?
- [the bushes rustle]
- Cory Matthews: Oh, it's you again, isn't it? All right, come here, you creature of the night. Come out, you demon beast. Come out!
- [a brown rabbit jumps out of the bush]
- Cory Matthews: A rabbit.
- [Cory picks it up]
- Cory Matthews: A fuzzy, cuddly rabbit. I got all worked up over you?
- [the rabbit growls ferociously]
- Cory Matthews: That's better.
- [Cory puts the rabbit down and runs back inside the house]
- Amy Matthews: Cory.
- Cory Matthews: Alright. I'm a hairy mess. Get out your Epilady and just do me.
- Amy Matthews: No, sweetheart, I was just gonna say don't forget your lunch.
- Cory Matthews: It's okay, I'll kill something at school.
- Alan Matthews: I sense there's something on your mind.
- Cory Matthews: Well, it's just this uh math problem I've been working on.
- [opens his textbook]
- Cory Matthews: If a werewolf leaves a train station going forty miles an hour and another werewolf leaves at sixty miles an hour, do werewolves exist?
- Alan Matthews: Is this about the wolf that escaped from the zoo?
- Cory Matthews: Could be.
- Alan Matthews: Cory, werewolves don't exist. Relax. It's just a myth. You know as you get older, you'll learn to seperate myth from reality.
- [Alan picks up a soda can, shakes it, listening. He sets it down and then he does the same thing with two more cans]
- Cory Matthews: What are you doing?
- Alan Matthews: Uh, one of our soda distributors heard about this guy who robbed a jewelry store and made off with five diamond rings.
- Amy Matthews: And he hid those diamond rings in five cans of soda, thus your father and other grown-ups who can separate myth from reality have been boosting soda sales.
- Alan Matthews: It's a three karat diamond, babe.
- [Amy picks up a can and shakes it]
- Amy Matthews: I'm so thirsty.
- Cory Matthews: [writing in a journal] 8:35. I'm drooling more than usual. The change into wolfdom is upon me.
- Alan Matthews: You're going through some changes, aren't you?
- Cory Matthews: Yes, I am.
- Alan Matthews: You know what those changes are?
- Cory Matthews: Seriously? No kidding?
- Alan Matthews: Yeah.
- Cory Matthews: I'm a werewolf. Ah-ooo.
- Alan Matthews: Of course you are. And if you misbehave as a werewolf, I'll be happy to shoot you. But on the off chance that you're turning into a man and not a wolf, this could just be the beginning of adulthood.
- Cory Matthews: Dad, I'm not becoming a man. I'm becoming man's best friend
- Cory Matthews: I'm a werewolf. Ah-ooh.
- Alan Matthews: [chuckling] Of course you are, and if you misbehave as a werewolf I'll be happy to shoot you. But on the off chance that you're turning into a man and not a wolf, this could just be the beginning of adulthood.
- Cory Matthews: Dad, I'm not becoming a man. I'm becoming man's best friend.