- [Buffy reads her mom's thoughts]
- Buffy Summers: You had sex with Giles...? You had *sex* with *Giles*?
- Joyce Summers: I-It was the candy. We were teenagers.
- Buffy Summers: On the hood of a police car?
- Joyce Summers: I'll be downstairs. You feel better.
- Buffy Summers: *Twice*?
- [last lines]
- Rupert Giles: Feel up to some training?
- Buffy Summers: Sure! We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my *mother*.
- Xander Harris: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were gonna make an expression.
- Oz: Well, I felt one comin' on. I won't lie.
- Angel: And, Buffy, be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful... they can be painful.
- Buffy Summers: Like, say, immortality?
- Angel: Hmm. Exactly. I'm dyin' to get rid of that.
- Buffy Summers: Funny.
- Angel: I'm a funny guy.
- [Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts]
- Oz: [thinking] I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist.
- [out loud]
- Oz: Hmm.
- Xander Harris: [thinking] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me!
- Buffy Summers: God, Xander! Is that *all* you think about?
- Xander Harris: Actually...? Bye.
- [runs out of the room]
- Buffy Summers: But what if he is right? I'm suddenly gonna grow this demon part and we don't even know what it is. It could be claws or scales...
- [Willow's eyes widen]
- Buffy Summers: What?
- Willow Rosenberg: Was it a boy demon?
- Rupert Giles: Jonathan. How's he?
- Buffy Summers: Pretty crappy. His parents are freaking. He got suspended. And toting a piece to school, not exactly winning him a place with the in-crowd. But, I think he's dealing.
- Rupert Giles: Well, it's good of you to check on him.
- Buffy Summers: Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity, except he's starting to get that look. You know, like he's gonna ask me to Prom.
- Rupert Giles: Well, it'd probably be good for his self-esteem, if you, um...
- Buffy Summers: Oh come on! What am I, Saint Buffy? He's like three feet tall.
- Willow Rosenberg: So you're feeling better about Angel?
- Buffy Summers: Well, we talked, then-then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me, and-and then we talked some more.
- Willow Rosenberg: See? That's how it should work.
- [reading Freddy's review]
- Oz: "'Dingoes Ate My Baby' played their instruments as if they had plump Polish sausages taped to their fingers."
- Freddy Iverson: Sorry, man.
- Oz: No. It's fair.
- Angel: You can't get into my mind.
- Buffy Summers: How did you...
- [brief pause]
- Buffy Summers: Why not?
- Angel: It's like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you.
- Xander Harris: You know, Oz, I look at all this beauty, all these healthy young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her. She's no better-lookin' than the rest of 'em.
- Oz: None of them are really my...
- Xander Harris: Oh, my God, he's lookin' at her...! He's got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy.
- Oz: You're a very complex man, aren't you?
- Willow Rosenberg: The school paper is edging on depressing, lately. Have you guys noticed that?
- Oz: I don't know. I always go strait to the obits.
- Cordelia Chase: Hi, Mr. Beach. I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook.
- Buffy Summers: You know what? I was wrong... You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it... sometimes more than I can handle.
- Xander Harris: I'm still having trouble with the fact that one of us is just gonna gun everybody down for no reason.
- Cordelia Chase: Yeah, because that never happens in American high schools.
- Willow Rosenberg: So Scabby Demon got away?
- Buffy Summers: Scabby Demon number two got away. Scabby Demon number one, big check in the "slay" column.
- Willow Rosenberg: I don't like this whole 'no mouth' thing. It's disquieting.
- Buffy Summers: Well, no mouth means no teeth... Unless they have them somewhere else...
- Jonathan Levinson: [Buffy takes the gun away from Jonathan] I just wanted it to stop.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, well, mass-murder, not really doctor recommended for that type of pain. Besides, prison, you know, it's a lot like high school, only instead of noogies...
- Jonathan Levinson: [Interrupting] What are you talking about?
- Buffy Summers: Actions having consequences. You know, stuff like that.
- Jonathan Levinson: I- I wouldn't ever hurt anybody. I came up here to kill myself.
- Buffy Summers: [after stopping the lunch lady from stabbing Xander] Okay, let's calm down.
- Lunch Lady: Vermin! You're all vermin. You come in here and you eat, and you eat. Filth!
- Buffy Summers: I don't see this being settled with logic.
- Willow Rosenberg: Fantasy's are fun, aren't they, Jonathan?
- Jonathan Levinson: Uh... I guess.
- Willow Rosenberg: We all have fantasies that we're powerful, more respected. Where people pay attention to us.
- Jonathan Levinson: Uh... maybe.
- Willow Rosenberg: But sometimes the fantasy isn't enough, is it Jonathan? Sometimes we have to make it so people don't ignore us. Make them pay attention. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
- Jonathan Levinson: Em, you... Want me to pay attention?
- Jonathan Levinson: [to Buffy] Stop saying my name like we're friends! We're not friends! You all think I'm an idiot! A short idiot!
- [Evil voice that Buffy hears in the Cafeteria]: This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all!