- Donny Maclay: Tara, if you don't get in that car, I swear by God, I will beat you down.
- Xander Harris: And I swear by your full and manly *beard* you're gonna break something trying.
- Buffy Summers: [to Mr. Maclay] You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.
- Dawn Summers: And me!
- Mr. Maclay: Is this a joke? I'm not gonna be threatened by two little girls.
- Dawn Summers: You don't wanna mess with us.
- Buffy Summers: She's a hair-puller.
- Riley Finn: He started it.
- Xander Harris: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might've been Latin.
- Rupert Giles: Stop it or you're going to break something.
- Buffy Summers: Or I'm going to break something.
- [trying to think of what to get Tara for her birthday]
- Xander Harris: Well, candles, maybe, or bath oils of some kind.
- Buffy Summers: I saw a really cute sweater at Bloomies, but I think I want me to have it.
- Rupert Giles: And you are talking about what on earth?
- Buffy Summers: Tara's birthday. We're at a loss.
- Rupert Giles: You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
- Xander Harris: Well, we don't really know the kind of things witches like. I mean, what, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
- Rupert Giles: You bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.
- Tara Maclay: Yeah. You learn her source and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection.
- [everyone stares blankly]
- Tara Maclay: Um, th-that was funny if you, um, if you studied Taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork.
- Riley Finn: Huh. Then how come Xander didn't laugh?
- Xander Harris: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.
- Tara Maclay: Best birthday.
- Willow: I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that.
- Tara Maclay: I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me.
- Willow: See... that's where you're a dummy... I think about what you grew up with and... then I look at what you are... it makes me proud... It makes me love you more.
- [at the magic shop, Anya hands a paper bag to a customer, smiling]
- Anya: Thank you for coming. We value your patronage.
- [louder as they leave]
- Anya: Please come again for more purchases!
- Rupert Giles: Could we perhaps be a little less effusive, Anya? We don't want to frighten the people.
- Anya: I'm just so excited. They come in. I help them. They give us money in exchange for goods. You give me money for working for you... I have a *place* in the world now. I'm part of the system.
- [smiles]
- Anya: I'm a workin' gal.
- Rupert Giles: [smiles] Yes. Well, why don't you start organizing the shipping orders.
- Anya: Oh, no. That's boring. I just want to do the money parts.
- [Spike punches Tara and then screms in pain]
- Tara Maclay: He hit my nose!
- Willow Rosenberg: And it hurt! Uh, him, I mean.
- Buffy Summers: [to Mr. Maclay] And that only works on humans.
- Spike: There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend. Am I right...? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line? Huh, you're a piece of work. I like you.
- Tara Maclay: [to Willow] I'm not a demon.
- Willow Rosenberg: [smiling] You're not a demon.
- Cousin Beth: Well, I hope you'll all be happy hanging out with a disgusting demon.
- Anya: E-Excuse me. What kind?
- Cousin Beth: What?
- Anya: What kind of demon is she? There's a lot of different kinds. Some are very, very evil, and some have been considered to be useful members of society.
- [last lines]
- Tara Maclay: Every time I... Even when I'm at my worst... you always make me feel special... How do you do that?
- Willow Rosenberg: [smiling] Magic.
- Riley Finn: I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn't even know you ever left.
- Buffy Summers: Oh, you're a god. You're like the god of boyfriends.
- Riley Finn: Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.
- Buffy Summers: Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.
- [Mr. Maclay is trying to take Tara]
- Rupert Giles: And... you're not just dealing with two little girls.
- Xander Harris: You're dealing with all of us.
- Spike: 'Cept me.
- Xander Harris: 'Cept Spike.
- Spike: I don't care what happens.
- Mr. Maclay: This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara's affairs. *We* are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?
- Buffy Summers: We're family.
- Anya: [about helping Buffy clear her Residence room] But we just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago...
- [turns and sees Buffy]
- Anya: ... and it was fun!
- Rupert Giles: [Reading a book] People help each other out, Anya. It's one of our strange customs.
- Buffy Summers: Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called helping.
- Rupert Giles: Well, I saw myself in more of a... patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling.
- [Smiles. Looks to his left, points and scowls]
- Rupert Giles: You two, stop that!
- Dawn Summers: This place is so cool. Except I have to wear this stupid stamp on my hand.
- Xander Harris: That's to keep you from boozing it up.
- Dawn Summers: Oh, please. Only losers drink alcohol.
- Donny Maclay: [while looking at the books in the magic shop] So all these books got spells in 'em? Turn people into frogs, things like that?
- Xander Harris: Yeah, we're building a race of frog people. It's a good time.
- Sandy: We could go somewhere else. Someplace more... private.
- Riley Finn: Oh, ho,ho, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another... Besides, I don't go out with vampires... They're never interested in my intellect.
- Buffy Summers: So, any breakthroughs on the identity of Miss Congeniality?
- Rupert Giles: Well, I've narrowed it down some.
- [Buffy turns and sees a table full of open books]
- Buffy Summers: Your definition of narrow is impressively wide.
- Glory: Pay attention! I am great, and I am beautiful, and when I walk into a room all eyes turn to me because my name is a holy name, and you will *listen*!