- [the basement is flooded]
- Tara Maclay: H-How's everything looking down there?
- Xander: Like we should start gathering up two of every animal.
- Willow Rosenberg: Okay. Well, let me make you mad again. Uh, ready? Um... last semester, I slept with Riley.
- Buffy Summers: And you know, I really doubt it.
- Willow Rosenberg: Caught me. Big fib... To cover-up the sleazy affair I had with Angel.
- Anya: Um, if-if... If you wanna pay e-every bill here, and every bill coming, and have enough to start a nice college fund for Dawn, start charging.
- Buffy Summers: For what?
- Anya: Slaying vampires. I mean, you're providing a valuable service to the whole community. I say cash in!
- Buffy Summers: Well, that's an idea... *you* would have. Any other suggestions?
- Anya: Well, I mean, it's-it's not *so* crazy.
- Dawn Summers: Yes it is! You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives.
- Anya: Spider-Man does.
- Dawn Summers: He does not.
- Anya: Does too!
- Dawn Summers: Does not... Xander?
- Xander Harris: Action is his reward.
- Andrew Wells: But, I don't- I don't wanna kill Buffy either.
- Jonathan Levinson: Yeah. She saved my life a bunch of times. Plus she's hot.
- Warren Meers: It's her or us. I mean, we have to do it.
- Andrew Wells: We're talking about murder.
- Warren Meers: No, we're talking about staying alive. And since this is my mom's house, I think what I say goes.
- M'Fashnik Demon: Which one of you is the leader?
- Jonathan Levinson, Andrew Wells, Warren Meers: I am.
- M'Fashnik Demon: I will kill the leader.
- Jonathan Levinson, Andrew Wells, Warren Meers: He is.
- M'Fashnik Demon: I will kill you all.
- Jonathan Levinson: Wait! No fair.
- Buffy Summers: [to Dawn] You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?
- Willow Rosenberg: Um, Buffy, I-I know you're still getting back on your feet after...
- Buffy: Lying flat on my back?
- Willow Rosenberg: Yeah.
- Andrew Wells: We can do anything. We could stay up all night if we wanna.
- Warren Meers: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't get all crazy on us, Andrew.
- Andrew Wells: I was only saying.
- Andrew Wells: Hello? Screen wipe. New scene. I had nothing to do with the devil-dogs. I trained flying demon monkeys to attack the school play. School play, dude.
- Warren Meers: That was cool. That was kinda cool. It was funny.
- Jonathan Levinson: Remember, everyone was like, "Run, Juliet!"
- Dawn Summers: [about M'Fashnik demon] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like, mmm, cookies.
- Xander Harris: Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.
- Warren Meers: So... you guys wanna team up and take over Sunnydale?
- Andrew Wells, Jonathan Levinson: Okay.
- Xander Harris: That's it. It's been four hours. I'm callin' it, people. This coffee table, it's gone. Damn it!
- Warren Meers: You're just mad I wouldn't build you Christina Ricci.
- Andrew Wells: You owe me, man!
- Warren Meers: Oh, or else what? You'll train another pack of devil-dogs to ruin my prom? Graduated!
- Buffy Summers: Dawn, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It's unbelievably important. You should eat breakfast at least three times a day.
- Buffy Summers: Okay, its-it's bills. It's money. I-It's pieces of paper sent by bureaucrats that we've never even met. It's not like it's the end of the world... Which is too bad, you know, 'cause *that* I'm really good at.
- Dawn Summers: You know, if you don't let me look at the pictures, I'm gonna learn everything I know about demons on the street.
- [Tara hands Dawn a book so she can help researching]
- Tara Maclay: Knock yourself out.
- Dawn Summers: Thank you. See? No biggie. I can totally handle it.
- [opens book and stares at a picture]
- Dawn Summers: That's a weird place for a horn.
- [realizing what she is really seeing, she slowly closes the book]
- Dawn Summers: That's not a horn.
- Buffy Summers: Oh, it's just money stuff. It turns out Mom left me some, and while I was dead, it got squandered on luxuries, like, food and clothing.
- Rupert Giles: How bad is it?
- Buffy Summers: Anya says pretty bad. I'm kind of taking her word for it. Actually, I'm kind of trying not to think about it.
- Rupert Giles: Sound policy. At least for tonight.
- Buffy Summers: Figured I'd put it out of my mind. You know, take a break. Get some perspective... And then, wake up at 4:00 a.m. terrified.
- Rupert Giles: Tell me about the spell you performed.
- Willow Rosenberg: [excited] Oh. Okay, first of all, so scary. Like, uh, the Blair Witch would have had to watch like this.
- [holds hand over eyes]
- Willow Rosenberg: And-And- And this giant snake came out of my mouth and there was all this energy crackling, and this pack of demons interrupted, but I totally kept it together. And then, the next thing you now... Buffy.
- Rupert Giles: You're a very stupid girl.
- Rupert Giles: [angry] You were lucky.
- Willow Rosenberg: I wasn't lucky. I was amazing. and how would you know? You weren't even there.
- Rupert Giles: If I had been, I'd have bloody well stopped you. The magics you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!
- Willow Rosenberg: Giles, I did what I had to do. I did what nobody else could do.
- Rupert Giles: Oh, there are others in this world who can do what you did. You just don't want to meet them.
- Willow Rosenberg: [to Giles] You're right... The magics I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful, and maybe it's not such a good idea for you to *piss* me off.
- M'Fashnik Demon: We had a deal. You got what you wanted. Now give me what I want, the head of the Slayer.
- Warren Meers: Okay.
- Jonathan Levinson: Sure.
- Andrew Wells: We can do that.
- Dawn Summers: So you think we'll starve?
- Rupert Giles: I very much doubt it.
- Dawn Summers: No chance I'd have to quit school to work assembling cheap toys in a poorly ventilated sweatshop?
- [last lines]
- Rupert Giles: Buffy, what is it?
- Buffy Summers: Angel.
- Rupert Giles: Is he in trouble?
- Buffy Summers: He know that I'm... He-He needs to see me. I-I have to see him.
- Rupert Giles: Well, of course. Well, you-you'll leave for LA tomorrow.
- Buffy Summers: Not LA. An-And not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a place.
- Rupert Giles: I see. Well, we should bet these, uh, bills and things out of the way bef...
- Buffy Summers: I have to go now.
- [starts to leave]
- Buffy Summers: Oh. Um... Thanks for taking care of this for me.