- Buffy Summers: I wish we could be regular kids.
- Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
- Buffy Summers: Okay, then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
- Cordelia Chase: I can't even believe you. You drag me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
- Xander Harris: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
- Buffy Summers: We're having this... thing at school.
- Angel: Career week?
- Buffy Summers: How did you know?
- Angel: I lurk.
- Buffy Summers: Right.
- Rupert Giles: It's a reliquary... used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint.
- Buffy Summers: Note to self: religion - freaky.
- Rupert Giles: Du Lac. Oh dear, oh dear.
- Buffy Summers: I hate when you say that.
- Xander Harris: Come on, Cordelia. If you wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang, you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then.
- Xander Harris: For what it's worth...
- Principal Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath... an airborne toxic event.
- Xander Harris: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.
- Xander Harris: No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone.
- [Willow nods in agreement]
- [last lines]
- Kendra: Who are you?
- Buffy Summers: Who am I? You attacked me! Who the hell are you?
- Kendra: I am Kendra. The Vampire Slayer.
- Buffy Summers: Wouldn't be much of a change. Either way I'm bored, constricted. I never get to shop, and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So, really, when you think about it, what's the diff?
- Rupert Giles: You're behaving remarkably immaturely.
- Buffy Summers: You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen. I've yet to mature.
- Willow Rosenberg: I'm kinda curious to find out what sort of career I could have.
- Xander Harris: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
- Willow Rosenberg: We're not gonna be young forever.
- Xander Harris: Yes, but I'll always be stupid.
- Cordelia Chase: [reading] "I aspire to help my fellow man." Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross.
- Xander Harris: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty.
- Cordelia Chase: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice.
- Xander Harris: [to Willow and Buffy] Is murder always a crime?
- Buffy Summers: You would be amazed at how numbingly pompous and longwinded some of these Watchers were.
- Buffy Summers: Color me stunned.
- Rupert Giles: This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Taraka. It's a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon.
- Xander Harris: And didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale Adult Bowling League Championships?
- Rupert Giles: Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary.
- Xander Harris: Bowling is a vicious game.
- [examining the ring of the dead Taraka assassin]
- Angel: You're in danger. You know what the ring means?
- Buffy Summers: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?
- Buffy Summers: Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives?
- Rupert Giles: Um, this vampire who escaped, did you see what he took?
- Buffy Summers: No, but I can take a guess and say it was something old.
- Rupert Giles: You made no effort to find out what was taken?
- Buffy Summers: Have a cow, Giles.
- Buffy Summers: Speaking of, I really have to bail, but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay.
- Rupert Giles: This is a matter of some urgency, Buffy.
- Buffy Summers: I realize that. Well, you have to admit I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains. I'll only be here for moral support anyway.
- Xander Harris: That's untrue, Buff. You totally contribute. You go for snacks!
- Willow Rosenberg: She should go... you know... gather her strength.
- Rupert Giles: Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead.
- Xander Harris: But Ho-Ho's are a vital part of my cognitive process.
- [first lines]
- Xander Harris: [reading] "Are you a people person or do you prefer keeping your own company?" Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
- Buffy Summers: So, mark "none of the above."
- Buffy Summers: Giles, it's one thing to be a watcher and a librarian. They go together, like chicken and... another chicken... or two chickens, or something. you know what I'm saying!