Mystery!: Campion (TV Series)

Look to the Lady: Part 1 (1989)

Peter Davison: Albert Campion

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines of the series] 

  Albert Campion : Albert Campion - born May the 20th, 1900. Name known to be a pseudonym. Education: privileged. Embarked on adventurous career, 1929. Justice neatly executed, nothing sordid, deserving cases preferred. Police no object. Business address: 17 Bottle Street, Piccadilly, London W1. Specialist in fairy stories.

• Albert Campion : I think before we step into the fairy stories, you should step into the blood and gore department. This way, it's next to soft furnishings.

• Albert Campion : This is a gun, and as soon as I've read the instruction leaflet I won't hesitate to use it.

• [discussing Val's aunt] 

  Albert Campion : Is she batty?

  Val Gyrth : Not certifiably.

  Albert Campion : A keen amateur.

• Albert Campion : I rarely tell lies, but I'm sometimes a bit picky with the truth.

• Albert Campion : We may be going to a house where they have *real* servants. You'll have to behave.

  Magersfontein Lugg : I can handle servants.

  Albert Campion : Up to and including grievous bodily harm.

  Magersfontein Lugg : I've got discretion, me - in *both* fists!

• Albert Campion : My dear Mister Gyrth, I am never more serious than when I'm joking.

• Penny Gyrth : And what do you do, Mr. Campion?

  Albert Campion : I execute justice.

  Penny Gyrth : Really?

  Beth Cairey : Is that a part-time or a full-time job?

  Albert Campion : Yes. Both of them.

• [about Lugg] 

  Albert Campion : He was one of the most promising burglars in the business but he can't make the weight any more. Hey ho.

• Penny Gyrth : In the Lady Chapel of the church, there's a list of witches put to death in 1624. Every other name on the sheet is Munsey.

  Albert Campion : Does Mrs. Munsey live in the village?

  Penny Gyrth : About half a mile outside in sort of a henhouse with her son. They're simple, poor things.

  Albert Campion : I might pay a call. I've been having trouble getting hold of bat's wool and newt's eyes. I've tried Harrod's, Fortnam's...

• Val Gyrth : Campion, is this another fairy story?

  Albert Campion : Probably, but they usually have happy endings.

• Albert Campion : [to Val Gyrth]  Now for the fairy story. Once upon a time, about fifty years ago, there were six wealthy men. They were all lovers of objets d'art, and because they were very wealthy, they could buy almost anything they wanted for their various collections. Almost anything. There *were* some things they couldn't buy. If they wanted such things, they had to be stolen. Now if you're a very wealthy man, you don't do your own stealing. You don't do your own *anything*, otherwise there's very little point in being wealthy.

• Penny Gyrth : [to Val]  You've been conspiring with Albert behind our back.

  Albert Campion : Where else could be possibly conspire?

• Albert Campion : You're on the side of the righteous and tomorrow we'll smuggle you out of here by way of a secret passage and we'll take the turnpike to Suffolk and we'll seek out George and the wicked weasels from the wild wood and whack 'em and whack 'em and whack 'em.