- Caroline Duffy: [reads from a fortune cookie] 'A dog with a thousand faces still eats from one bowl.' What does that mean?
- Richard Karinsky: It means they now have crack in China.
- Caroline Duffy: What does yours say, Richard?
- Richard Karinsky: My fortune cookie was empty. Which, by the way, is the title of my autobiography.
- Annie Spadaro: Listen to this: I just got off the phone with some schmoo from the IRS who tells me I'm being audited for 1993. I don't remember 1993! That was the year I discovered jello shots!
- Caroline Duffy: Um... do you think it's weird that Del and I are still friends?
- Richard Karinsky: I think it's weird that Del and anyone are friends.