Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

Live Alone and Like It (2005)

Steven Culp: Rex Van De Kamp

Quotes 

• Bree Van De Kamp : Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like you're giving up.

  Reverend Sikes : Well, we can't force him on the path of righteousness. He himself has got to want to make the journey.

  Bree Van De Kamp : Well, then, what do we do, just stand by while he starts dating boys?

  [to Andrew] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : And by the way, the correct word is not "gay." It's "sodomy."

  Rex Van De Kamp : We're in the middle of dinner.

  Bree Van De Kamp : So?

  Rex Van De Kamp : So, can you at least wait until desert before calling our son a sodomite?

  Bree Van De Kamp : How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me.

  Rex Van De Kamp : For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it.

  Bree Van De Kamp : Well, at least I'm trying to be pro-active!

  Reverend Sikes : Please, there's no need to get upset.

  Bree Van De Kamp : I am upset because there is a problem here and no-one seems to notice it but me.

  Rex Van De Kamp : As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him!

  [brief silence] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : [to Andrew]  Your father is into S&M.

  Rex Van De Kamp : Bree!

  Bree Van De Kamp : He makes me beat him with a riding crop and I let him. It's no wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are.

  [Bree gets up and leaves] 

  Rex Van De Kamp : Excuse me.

  [Rex leaves too] 

  Andrew Van De Kamp : [to Reverend Sikes]  What a fun night. You know, we should really do this again sometime.

• Bree : Andrew, you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you?

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Oh, come on.

  Bree : Um, Reverend, why don't you, um, have seat, and I will get some refreshments?

  [the reverend sits down at the dining room table where Andrew is sitting and Rex is pouring wine] 

  Reverend Sikes : Ah. So, Andrew, it's been a long time.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Yes. Yes, it has.

  Bree : Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly.

  Reverend Sikes : Oh, bubbly, please. So, your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys.

  [Andrew stares at his mother who smiles back lovingly. Andrew looks at the wine] 

  Andrew Van De Kamp : I don't suppose I could get some of that.

  Rex Van De Kamp : I'm gonna need every drop.