- Pete Cavanaugh: Now I know who my friends are.
- Greg Montgomery: Pete, I'm not her lawyer.
- Pete Cavanaugh: Right. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an appointment with the doctor. He checks my prostate because he enjoys it.
- Jane: [about divorce settlement] Can I hide it in your shed and say it was stolen?
- Larry Finkelstein: Come on, Pete's a smart man, he's not going to believe our shed was stolen.