The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk (1964)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Rob Petrie : [after Ritchie leaves] He spells better than you do.
Laura Petrie : And why not? He's my S-U-N.
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Rob Petrie : [reading a note] "In one minute your telephone will ring."
Laura Petrie : Well, what a crazy note. I wonder who it is.
[telephone rings]
Rob Petrie : Let's ask.
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Rob Petrie : We're sitting here knocking Neil so much I'm beginning to feel guilty about him now.
Buddy Sorrell : Ah, don't feel so bad. I love Pickles, but if somebody asked me if she'd make a good wife I would have to say no.
Sally Rogers : Buddy, you shouldn't talk like that. You know, if I were your wife...
Buddy Sorrell : Call her, maybe we can make a deal.
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Rob Petrie : Listen, how's your wife?
Neil Schenk : Oh, ex-wife. I blew another one.
Rob Petrie : Gee, I'm sorry.
Neil Schenk : Oh, don't be. You know, I do such a volume business, the judge gives me group alimony.
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[Neil moves his dinner party to a better table]
Rob Petrie : The sign says reserved.
Neil Schenk : I know.
[pointing over the door]
Neil Schenk : That one says "exit" but are we leaving?
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Rob Petrie : Well, I'll never forget it, Neil.
Neil Schenk : Oh, would I let you?
Rob Petrie : [laughs nervously] I doubt it.
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Rob Petrie : Who's George Crenshaw?
Bill Sampson : Oh, he's my Neil Schenk.
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Laura Petrie : [Neil borrowed Laura's car] Can we be sure he'll come back?
Rob Petrie : Honey, there's one thing sure about Neil Schenk. He always comes back.