- Robbie Sinclair: [hits Spike after he interrupts Robbie and Wendy] A kiss on my cheek, Spike!
- Spike: What?
- Robbie Sinclair: A kiss on my cheek, if you hadn't shown up it could've been my mouth, it could've been my lips.
- Spike: It could've been your whole face! I just saved your life, Sinclair. I've been out asking around about Wendy, she's bad news!
- Robbie Sinclair: I'm not interested in your stupid locker room stories.
- Spike: [takes out notebook] Okay, last boyfriend transferred to another school, never registered, never showed up. Boyfriend number two, allegedly went off to join the army, no record of his enlistment. And boyfriend number three, Josh Meltzer, whereabouts, who knows?
- Robbie Sinclair: What're you implying?
- Spike: I think we both know what's going on. There's a girl like that in every school, a little hungrier than the others, she goes through boyfriends, she chews them up...
- Robbie Sinclair: And spits them out?
- Spike: Naw, she digests them. Face it, Scooter, your girlfriend is an eater!
- Robbie Sinclair: Spike heard this idiotic rumor that Wendy eats all her boyfriends.
- Charlene Sinclair: [laughs] Everyone knows that.
- Robbie Sinclair: What do you mean everyone?
- Charlene Sinclair: Everyone! They're all surprised you lasted this long, she must be dieting.
- Robbie Sinclair: Why didn't you say anything?
- Charlene Sinclair: I was going to. See, do nails, pick up eyeshadow, warn Robbie his life is in danger, see? It was next on my list.
- Fran Sinclair: Robbie, you like this girl but you're breaking up with her because of what people are saying about her, now does that make sense? When I met your father all of my friends said he had no ambition, would never amount to anything and would stay a tree pusher all his life, now were they right?
- [looks at Earl]
- Fran Sinclair: Maybe that's not the best example... why didn't I listen to them?
- Earl Sinclair: What reason could you possibly have for breaking up with this girl?
- Robbie Sinclair: She's gonna eat me, Dad!
- Earl Sinclair: ...Well no relationship is perfect, why your own mother forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste.
- Fran Sinclair: Wendy.
- Wendy Richfield: Yes?
- Fran Sinclair: You should know that your fellow students have been circulating a rumor that you have... an eating disorder.
- Wendy Richfield: What?
- Charlene Sinclair: [accusingly] You ate your last four boyfriends and now you're gonna eat Robbie!
- Wendy Richfield: [shouts] That's not true!
- [Earl, Charlene, and Baby go startled]
- Wendy Richfield: [now calm] I - I never ate anybody.
- Fran Sinclair: I believe you, dear, but you have to admit four boyfriends all disappeared, never to be seen again
- Wendy Richfield: I know, it's so strange, but it's not me. It's like there's something out there devouring my boyfriends! Someone's trying to stop me from having any kind of relationship; trying to keep me from growing up. I mean, what kind of horrible monster would...
- [sighs in exasperation]
- Wendy Richfield: Daddy!
- Earl Sinclair: Daddy?
- [Charlene and Fran gasp in horror]
- Earl Sinclair: [finally gets it] Daddy!
- Baby Sinclair: Uh-oh!