Dr. Terrible's House of Horrible (TV Series)

Scream Satan Scream! (2001)

Graham Duff: Norden

Quotes 

• Captain Tobias Slater : Do you have evidence of this evil?

  Norden : Aye. A woman gave birth to a screaming baby boy with flame red hair. Red as the devil himself.

  Captain Tobias Slater : I trust you burnt him?

  Norden : Of course, we're a peaceful folk.

• Captain Tobias Slater : Oh Lord, I beseech thee to look kindly upon your most humble servant, Captain Tobias Slater - Witch Locator, as I dunk women in ponds. Forever and ever. Amen.

  Charlotte : Oh, Mr Norden, you know me, you know I'm no witch.

  Norden : There's a test.

  Captain Tobias Slater : We've got this ducking stool.

  Norden : Aye. See, if yer float...

  Captain Tobias Slater : No-no-no-no-no-no-no. If you drown... No, hang on. If you float, you're a witch.

  Norden : And then we burn yer.

  Captain Tobias Slater : But if you drown, you're not a witch.

  Charlotte : But if I drown, I'll die.

  Captain Tobias Slater : It's a small price to pay.

  Norden : And we've got this ducking stool.

  Charlotte : But I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. That doesn't make any sense.

  Captain Tobias Slater : Yes... But we've got this ducking stool.