- Josh Nichols: Why you have to one-up me all the time? What do you... what, do you get your jollies making me look dumb?
- Mindy Crenshaw: Who said I think you're dumb? Maybe I happen to think you're very smart! Maybe I just...
- Josh Nichols: Maybe you just what?
- Mindy Crenshaw: Maybe I just like you.
- Josh Nichols: Meh... Maybe I just like you too.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Oh, really?
- Josh Nichols: Yeah. Maybe I've liked you for a really long time but didn't realize it 'cause I hated you so much.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Are you saying you like me or not?
- Josh Nichols: Are you saying you like ME or not?
- Mindy Crenshaw: I'm saying I like you!
- Josh Nichols: Well, then I'm sayin' I like YOU!
- Mindy Crenshaw: Fine!
- Josh Nichols: Fine!
- Mindy Crenshaw: Then I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend!
- Josh Nichols: One condition!
- Mindy Crenshaw: What?
- Josh Nichols: I get to be the boyfriend!
- Mindy Crenshaw: Oh, Josh. Haven't you learned by now that I can outsmart you whenever I want?
- Josh Nichols: [scoffs] You can not.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Say fort.
- Josh Nichols: Fort.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Now say it three times.
- Josh Nichols: Fort, fort, fort.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Spell it twice.
- Josh Nichols: F-O-R-T, F-O-R-T.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Say it two more times.
- Josh Nichols: Fort, fort.
- Mindy Crenshaw: Now, what do you eat soup with?
- Josh Nichols: Ha-ha-ha - fork! Ha-haa!
- Mindy Crenshaw: Really? 'Cause I eat soup with a spoon.
- [walks away triumphantly]
- Drake Parker: See, if you ate soup with a fork, the liquid would just fall through the...
- Josh Nichols: I KNOW!
- Drake Parker: Josh, I don't hate you!
- Josh Nichols: But-but-but you think I'm an idiot for dating her.
- Drake Parker: No, that's not why I think you're an idiot.
- Megan Parker: And if it makes you feel any better, I hate Mindy just as much as you do.
- Josh Nichols: Why is that?
- Megan Parker: Because she makes your life miserable... and that's MY job.
- Megan Parker: [rushing in with a video recorder] Why was Josh screaming? Did he eggs hatch?
- Drake Parker: What?
- Josh Nichols: What eggs?
- Megan Parker: Ah... ha... nothin'.
- [exits but gazes back with a wicked smile]
- Josh Nichols: [awakening from a nightmare] Oh. Oh... oh, Drake, your head's fine.
- Drake Parker: [returning the strange compliment] You have pretty eyes.