- Josh Nichols: Hey! I wanna go to Chucky Chedders! Oh, come on, lemme out! I-I wanna wack the mole! But Drake... Megan... Can I just get some water? There's no bathroom in here! That's the problem!
- [struggles to get out of the tent]
- Josh Nichols: [opening oven] Hello, s'mores!
- Josh Nichols: [taking out s'mores without a mitten] Hello, pain!
- Josh Nichols: [sticks his arm in pitcher of milk for relief] Oh. Oh.
- Drake Parker: [entering] Uh, Josh, they usually put the prize in the cereal, not the milk.
- Leah: Something's bothering you.
- Drake Parker: How do you know?
- Leah: It's a woman, isn't it?
- Drake Parker: Kind of. A... little woman.
- Leah: Go to her.
- Drake Parker: Go to her?
- Leah: Fix it.
- Drake Parker: Why should I fix it?
- Leah: 'Cause you know you should.
- Drake Parker: How do you know I know I should?
- Leah: Because if I didn't know you know you should, I'd have no way of knowing what I obviously already know. Even if I shouldn't.
- [heads toward room]
- Studio Manager: Leah, you're up next.
- Drake Parker: Ah, wait. Who are you?
- Leah: A friend, a conscience, a trumpeteer.
- [blows into trumpet]
- Drake Parker: Ah, s'mores. I love s'mores.
- Josh Nichols: Who doesn't?
- Drake Parker: I don't know. S'more haters?
- Josh Nichols: Good point.
- Josh Nichols: [entering The Premiere] All right, Campfire Kids, huddle up.
- Liza: So what movie are we seeing?
- Josh Nichols: We're not seein' a movie. We're here to learn about wilderness navigation.
- All the Kids: [together] Aw!
- Pete: You're the worst!
- Josh Nichols: Thank you, Pete. Now, what would you do if someone dropped you off all alone in the middle of nowhere?
- Megan Parker: I'd call Mom on my cell phone.
- Josh Nichols: Say you didn't have your cell phone.
- Megan Parker: I ALWAYS have my cell phone.
- Josh Nichols: The battery's dead.
- Megan Parker: I always scare...
- Josh Nichols: Eh, it's broken! It fell in a lake, a bear ate it, the point is you're lost! And all you have is a compass and a topographical map of the region.
- Megan Parker: So, I have a compass and a topographical map but I don't have my cell phone?
- Josh Nichols: That tears it! We're seein' a movie!
- Pete: Gross, there's a band-aid in my milk!
- Josh Nichols: [looks at the wound on his finger] Oh, jeez.