Family Guy (TV Series)

A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (2001)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin, Man #2

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chris Griffin : I just want peace on Earth. That's better than being selfish like Meg, right? So I should get more than her.

• Peter Griffin : As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living, so we all sing Christmas carols to lull Him back to sleep.

  Bob : Outrageous! How dare he say such blasphemy! I've got to do something!

  Bob's Friend : Bob, there's... nothing you can do.

  Bob : [sighs, defeated]  Well, I... guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.

• Lois Griffin : Stewie, honey, time for bed. You have a big day tomorrow, Baby Jesus.

  Stewie Griffin : Trust me, woman, if I could walk on water, I would stroll you out to the middle of a lake and hold your head under until the bubbles stopped!

  Lois Griffin : Ooh, somebody's being naughty, not nice. You know, Santa's watching you.

  Stewie Griffin : What the devil do you mean "watching"?

  Lois Griffin : Well, honey, Santa's making a list and checking it twice.

  Meg Griffin : He sees you when you're sleeping.

  Chris Griffin : And he knows when you're awake. I almost caught him last year, but he's magic.

  Stewie Griffin : [jumping out of Lois' arms and pacing around]  Constant surveillance of every child on Earth... impossible! Unless...

  [spotting a Santa-shaped ornament on the tree] 

  Stewie Griffin : Hidden cameras. Oh, very clever! Watching to see if I'm naughty, are you?

  [dropping his pants and mooning the ornament] 

  Stewie Griffin : Well, check this twice!