Family Guy (TV Series)

One If by Clam, Two If by Sea (2001)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Nigel Pinchley, God, Judge, Demond Wilson, British Guy #2, British Announcer, British Guy #4, Benjamin Disraeli, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Inmate #2, Party Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : You wanna talk about awkward moments? Once, during sex, I called Lois "Frank". Your move, Sherlock.

• Eliza Pinchley : Your breath smells like kitty litter!

  Stewie Griffin : I was curious!

• Stewie Griffin : Why can't the English teach their children to speak?

• Glen Quagmire : I felt guilty once, but she woke up half way through.

• Peter Griffin : Thank you, God.

  God : You're welcome.

• Peter Griffin : [after the British guy explains the rules of Cricket to Peter]  Does anyone know what this guy's talking about?

  Cleveland : The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette.

  Peter Griffin : Then would someone tell this cigarette to shut up!

• Lois Griffin : [about Nigel]  Nigel's charming. All British men are.

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, right. That's what they said about Benjamin Disraeli.

  Benjamin Disraeli : [Writing at desk after a pause, looking up at the viewer and then continues writing]  You don't even know who I am!

• Peter Griffin : [British Pub]  This is a Dark and Evil place.

• Peter Griffin : Oh, Jenny! Jenny! Oh yeah, Jenny, don't stop! Aw, Richard Jenni, your HBO comedy specials have brought pleasure to millions! And what a sweet ass!

• Peter Griffin : [after being punched]  What the hell? I thought you English guys never move.

  Officer : That's just our women.

• Steve Bellows : Well, well, Officer Swanson. You and your friends. You're all dead!

  Peter Griffin : Oh, good. He thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.

• Stewie Griffin : No, no, no! If you're ever going to be a lady, you must learn to speak like one. Now try it again. The life of the wife is ended by the knife.

• Stewie Griffin : Hello, Mother. Have you hidden my hatchet?

• Little Girl : Ewww! Your breath smells like kitty litter!

  Stewie Griffin : I was curious!