Family Guy (TV Series)

The Thin White Line (2001)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Old Lady, Lifeguard

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : So how was your day?

  Brian Griffin : [on drugs]  My day? Un-freaking-believable! First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll! Her doll for god's sake!

  [draws heavily on his cigarette then exhales] 

  Brian Griffin : Where's the line anymore? Well I got news for you... It's, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone honey, BAM! It freaking evaporated like a dingy, stinky mud puddle! One day you... you see your reflection in it, and the next day it's a... it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway staring back at you, mocking you... Blah Blah Blah! Knowing the perverted truth will rot in the pit of your soul! That's how my freaking day was!

  [everyone at the Table stares at him, then...] 

  Peter Griffin : You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

• [the family is sitting in the kitchen] 

  Lois Griffin : So, Peter, where shall we go for your week off?

  Peter Griffin : Well, I... I was thinking we could all go to Purgatory like we did last year!

  [it switches to the Griffins floating in front of a plain white background] 

  Lois Griffin : This isn't bad... it's not that good, but y'know... it's not that bad.

  Brian Griffin : It's so-so.

  Peter Griffin : Yeah... more or less...

• Brian Griffin : And that's why I'm leaving.

  Peter Griffin : Leaving? But you can't leave.

  Brian Griffin : I have to Peter, for me. I love you all.

  [Everybody was sad] 

  Lois Griffin : Somebody, say something!

  Stewie Griffin : [running]  Brian wait!

  [He runs up to Brian] 

  Brian Griffin : Hold on a second.

  [Stewie spits on Brian's nose, leaves] 

  Brian Griffin : Airport please.

  [Car runs] 

• [Brian, who has become addicted to cocaine, brings home a fellow user] 

  Lois Griffin : Hi Tina. Welcome to our home. Can I get you a washcloth to wipe the dried blood from under your nose?

• Brian Griffin : You know what Joe said the street value of that cocaine would've been?

  Lois Griffin : Let's see. Four and a half kilos uncut Nicaraguan. 1.7 mil, that area?

  Brian Griffin : [dumbfounded]  Uh, yeah. That's... that's... that's right.