Family Guy (TV Series)

When You Wish Upon a Weinstein (2003)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, William Shatner, Announcer, Doctor, Jerry, Monk, Noel Coward, Ralph Kramden, Teacher, Tony Robbins, Woody Allen, Gas Station Owner, Cloud #1

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Brian is watching "Seinfeld"] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : So you couldn't date her because she was a tickler.

  George Costanza : A tickler.

  Jerry Seinfeld : And you're not a stickler for a tickler.

  George Costanza : Not a stickler for a tickler.

  Jerry Seinfeld : You're not a tickler stickler.

  George Costanza : Not a tickler stickler.

  [absurd babbling] 

  Brian : Where the hell is the remote?

• Chris Griffin : Mom, can Stewie and me be excused? He's gonna help me with my math.

  Lois Griffin : Chris, he's just a baby.

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, you're a regular Rhodes scholar. Where was it you graduated from again, hmm? The university of "DUHHHH?"

• Peter Griffin : [singing]  Nothing else has worked so far/So I'll wish upon a star/Wondrous, dancing speck of light/I need a Jew/Lois makes me take the rap/'Cause our checkbook looks like crap/Since I can't give her a slap/I need a Jew/Where to find/A Baum or Steen or Stein/To teach me how to whine and do my taxes?

• Peter Griffin : Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.

• Peter Griffin : They better not be expecting us to give money, because I gave at church last Sunday, and I'm pretty sure it all goes to the same God.

• Max Weinstein : Hello. My car broke down. Can I use your phone?

  Peter Griffin : [singing]  Now my troubles are all through/I have a Jew.

  Max Weinstein : Hey!

• Peter Griffin : Nothing else has worked this far / So I wish upon a star / Wonderous shining speck of light / I need a Jew / Lois makes me take the rap / Cause our checkbook looks like crap / Since I can't give her a slap / I need a Jew / Where to find / A Baum or Steen or Stein / To teach me how to whine and do my taaaaaxesss... / Though by many they're abhorred / Hebrew people I've adored / I don't think they killed my Lord / I need a Jew.

• Max Weinstein : What do you want?

  Peter Griffin : Financial advice.

  Max Weinstein : Financial advice? How the hell did you know I'm an accountant?

  Peter Griffin : [stressing his Jewish last name]  Hello? "Max *Weinstein*"?